Big Fish

I went into the bathroom and took over bath duty so the Daddy could go do something with Hero. I saw cute wrinkley feet in the tub and this was our conversation:

Me: Hi, my little fish!

Dragon: I'm not a little fish!

Me: No? What are you, then?

Dragon: I'm a BIG fish!!

Fluent in Math

I ran across this math article the other day, and it had some really great ideas. I particularly like the counting from different places and in both directions.

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Most parents begin by teaching children to count from 1 to 10, then 1 to 20, and so on up to 100. Sometimes we neglect to teach them to count fluently from numbers other than 1.

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That's me. We did that. And we didn't really do any other kind of counting; I just never thought of it.

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Sometimes we neglect to teach them to count fluently from numbers other than 1. Then when they begin addition, they have problems because they have never counted from a number other than 1. So they start at 1 and count to the first number and then continue to count for the second number. To be fluent counters, we must also teach them to count from a number to a number.

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And that describes one of the few things that Hero struggled with in learning addition. He still doesn't like to "count on." I'm wondering if doing a little counting practice from numbers other than number one would help the situation. We all also need to increase our fluency in counting in Japanese as well, so this will be happening in two languages. I need to learn to say, "count forward" and "count backward" in Japanese too. It's always interesting to try to teach a new thing in Japanese, since that usually means that I'm learning it right along-side the kids, or maybe one step in front! There's a bunch of counting projects for both English and Japanese in this article. I think that it'll be keeping us busy for a while, between the two languages. Hero will do other stuff in addition, but Dragon and I will probably focus on counting in a whole bunch of different kinds of ways, and in both languages for the next little while. I think I need to find my big 100s chart and hang it back up.


P.S. I'm so glad you stopped by to read about the adventures at our house! If you want more, "Like" my blog on Facebook to get posts (and the articles n things I wish I had time to blog about) in your feed. Wanna see all the projects and ideas that I may or may not get around to? Follow me on Pinterest. Thanks for stopping by!

Spiderwebs

"I've got spiderwebs! They can shoot at Bad Guys and not at Good Guys!"

A Little Elbow Grease

The kids really want to get Mincraft. Really. And I'm cool with that. But it costs money and is definitely an "extra." So there's work involved. They each need to do 3 jobs to earn it.

I'm not the best housekeeper on the block, though hopefully I'm not the worst (anymore), so there's plenty of jobs. Hero chose the bathroom. There's some paint from the time Tigress got ahold of some paints we thought were taken care of, and ended up with black paint in her hair, and now that paint is mixed with the soap scum, and it's really pretty gross. Hero chose the bathroom, so we're working on that. And the paint/soap scum gunk isn't very easy to get off (though I've cleaned worse), and he's learning about elbow grease- the idiom and the experience. Even after his little brother and I lent a hand, it was still a big job. He did really well. 

Six Months

Six months ago, I started teaching the kids Japanese. It's a huge project, learning a language. I have no idea how long it's going to take. A long time. Partly because I only speak a little. Though I'm getting better. I started a set of flash cards in Sticky Study, the world's most awesome flash card app, a list of words I use around the house talking to the kids. A lot of the original words on my list centered around the bath room, actually, because Dragon was potty training at the time, and the repetitive nature of the task was perfect for helping me practice the phrases and helping him get used to the sound of Japanese.

One of the reasons that Sticky Study is so great is that it keeps stats for me. Tells me stuff. Like that it's been 6 months, and that in that time, I've learned about 250 new words. The really cool thing, though, is that it seldom takes very long. I flip a few cards while I'm waiting, most often. I am amazed at how the little bits add up. The scriptures tell us that by small and simple things, great things can be accomplished. I've loved that for a long time-- that's why I call my blog "Baby Steps". But it's really quite remarkable to see it all graphed out. 

I just added a bunch more words again, which is why the graph falls off at the end there. The flash cards start out red, and progress through the colors to green as I answer correctly several times. So you can see pretty clearly on the graph where I've added big bunches of words. And I'm forever adding them onesy-twosy as well. 

I think the start of learning a language is probably the hardest part. My kids seem like they're doing pretty well with that. Dragon is probably nearly as comfortable counting in Japanese as he is in English. Hero has been doing the podcast lessons I prefer, and is making some progress. I can't tell what is going on behind Tigress's big blue eyes; she only has about 8 words, and they're all English so far, but I probably speak the most Japanese to her, so it will be interesting to see if any of her first words, here while I'm keeping track, are Japanese. 

It can be easy to feel like we're not making any progress, even though there is a lot of effort going into this. But that's not the case. I'm learning new words and phrases, and so are the kids. It's pretty exciting, really. 

Legos at the Library

The library had a Lego night on their calendar, so we tried it out. They had a Space Theme going on, which was pretty fun. We built space stations. 

Later we found a stash of wheels and made some pretty cool Rovers. This one is the Curiosity, of Martian fame. 

There were enough Legos that I got to play too, so I made a space probe. 

When it was all done we grabbed a few books and visited the "jungle" in the foyer. 

The boys have declared Library Legos a success and they want to do it again. Works for me!

Educating Women (Part 1)

It always surprises me that this whole "educating women" thing is still an issue. And then I read a blog post like this. And I realize that maybe it's not as settled as it seems.

The post takes issue with an article called, "The Fork in the Road: Graduate School or Motherhood?" in a BYU publication for women. Now, I'm not a BYU fan, and when I say that I don't mean that I don't follow BYU sports, I mean that I think that BYU -specifically their honor code- does some things that are fostering doctrinally unsound attitudes in their students, and then it exports those doctrinally unsound ideas to the rest of the US, and very likely the world, when the graduates leave. I actually think that these unsound ideas contribute significantly to the stereotypically unpleasant "Utah Mormon" that you hear about from time to time. So I'm cool with taking aim at BYU. However, in this case, I don't think it's just.

Here's the issue the blogger has with Fork in the Road:

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The author points out that “decisions to pursue education, career, and family are very personal to each woman,” and that it’s important not to judge women for pursuing a career. She then lists reasons why women might want to pursue a career:  a family may not be able to live on one income, a woman may become a single mother, or a husband may lose his ability to work.

What about the woman who pursues a career because that is her “individual path” that she has carefully chosen?

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Now, I don't see it. Sure, the reasons explicitly stated leave out the "individual path" option, but I think that if you read the article closely, the most likely reason why the author chose graduate school was either (a) she also had a struggle with infertility going on that she chose not to share with the reader, or (b) it was her... carefully chosen individual path. After reading and re-reading the article, I actually suspect the latter. So far, there's really not much to write about here. But the blogger continues:

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I would like love to see more support for women who are completing graduate programs and pursuing careers, not just as a plan B. Pretending that the only possible reason a woman would want a career is as a backup is dangerous because it alienates those who are pursuing a career for other reasons. Doing so implies that such women are selfish and perpetuates a culture that tells women, “be whatever you want to be, as long as it fits within the bounds of what I think you should be.”

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And this, I will address, because I am an advocate of careers as Plan B. But not because I have any desire to force people into "bounds" that I set. I advocate it because I believe being an at-home mom is the thing most likely to make the largest number of women happy. And that belief grows out of my understanding of the doctrines of the religion that I share with this blogger.

So. What is the doctrine on the matter? There's two topics here: education, and Mothering.

Mothering first. What is the doctrine of the Church on Mothering? I blogged about it some a few weeks ago. I'll give you a hint: Mothering isn't about the goo that's sometimes on my shirt, any more than my husband's work with cancer treatment equipment is about the grease that is sometimes on his hands. For some reason, this seems to be harder to see with the decision to be a SAHM than it is with other lines of work. But Mothering isn't about the mess or the housework. You have to look deeper than that to see the essence of Motherhood. President Grant had to say this about it, in a First Presidency Message, in Conference:

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The Lord has told us that it is the duty of every husband and wife to obey the command given to Adam to multiply and replenish the earth... Thus every husband and wife should become a father and mother in Israel to children born under the holy, eternal covenant.

By bringing these choice spirits to earth, each father and each mother assume towards the tabernacled spirit and towards the Lord Himself by having taken advantage of the opportunity He offered, an obligation of the most sacred kind, because the fate of that spirit in the eternities to come, the blessing or punishments which shall await it in the hereafter, depend, in great part, upon the care, the teachings, the training which the parents shall give to that spirit.

No parent can escape that obligation and that responsibility, and for the proper meeting thereof, the Lord will hold us to a strict accountability. No loftier duty than this can be assumed by mortals.

Motherhood thus becomes a holy calling, a sacred dedication for carrying out the Lord's plans, a consecration of devotion to the uprearing and fostering, the nurturing in body, mind, and spirit, of those who kept their first estate and who come to this earth for their second estate "to see fi they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them (Abr. 3:25)." To lead them to keep their second estate is the work of motherhood and "they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever (Abr. 3:26)."

This divine service of motherhood can be rendered only by mothers. It may not be passed to others. Nurses cannot do it; public nurseries cannot do it; hired help cannot do it - only mother, aided as much as may be by the loving hand of father, brothers, and sisters, can give the full needed measure of watchful care.

The mother that entrusts her child to the care of others, that she may do non-motherly work, whether for gold, for fame, or for civic service, should remember that "a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame (Prov. 29:15). In our day the Lord has said that unless parents teach their children the doctrines of the Church "the sin be upon the heads of the parents (D&C 68:25)."

Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels. To you mothers in Israel we say God bless and protect you, and give you the strength and courage, the faith and knowledge, the holy love and consecration to duty, that shall enable you to fill to the fullest measure the sacred calling which is yours. To you mothers and mothers-to-be we say: Be chaste, keep pure, live righteously, that your posterity to the last generation may call you blessed.

-President Heber J. Grant, Message of the First Presidency, General Conference, Oct. 1942 (Emphasis added.)

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So, the first and most important reason that I encourage women to be an at-home Mom is because it's really really important. I believe that it really is the highest, holiest service women can do. It's not a crumpled second, left over after men got the good careers; it's the best, most significant thing that a woman can do. We get to partner with God in His work.

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For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. -Moses 1:39

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His Work is grand and marvelous, and almost beyond the comprehension of man, He allows parents, and especially mothers to play a critical role! One that the Prophets have repeatedly warned cannot be delegated. They have warned that to do it correctly, Mom needs to be home. And not just when the kids are babies. Mom needs to be home. Children need their mother - and women need what the process of Mothering will do for and to them.

Two years after he became the prophet, Ezra Taft Benson gave a talk entitled, "To the Mothers in Zion" which emphasized the eternal significance of Mothering. There is a lot of good stuff in this talk, including the following:

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Young mothers and fathers, with all my heart I counsel you not to postpone having your children, being co-creators with our Father in heaven.  Do not use the reasoning of the world, such as, "We'll wait until we can better afford having children, until we are more secure, until John has completed his education, until he has a better paying job, until we have a larger home, until we've obtained a few of the material conveniences," and on and on.

This is the reasoning of the world and is not pleasing in the sight of God. Mothers who enjoy good health, have your children and have them early. And, husbands, always be considerate of your wives in the bearing children.

 Do not curtail the number of your children for personal or selfish reasons. Material possessions, social convenience, and so-called professional advantages are nothing compared to a righteous posterity. In the eternal perspective, children--not possessions, not position, not prestige--are our greatest jewels.

 Brigham Young emphasized: "There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty?--To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can" (Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 197).  Yes, blessed is the husband and wife who have a family of children. The deepest joys and blessings in life are associated with family, parenthood, and sacrifice. To have those sweet spirits come into the home is worth practically any sacrifice.

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President Benson goes on to acknowledge the struggles of those who wish for children, but cannot have them, and then he says this:

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The Lord clearly defined the roles of mothers and fathers in providing for and rearing a righteous posterity. In the beginning, Adam--not Eve--was instructed to earn the bread by the sweat of his brow. Contrary to conventional wisdom, a mother's calling is in the home, not in the market place. Again, in the Doctrine and Covenants, we read: "Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken" (D&C 83:2). This is the divine right of a wife and mother. She cares for and nourishes her children at home. Her husband earns the living for the family, which makes this nourishing possible. With that claim on their husbands for their financial support, the counsel of the Church has always been for mothers to spend their full time in the home in rearing and caring for their children.(Emphasis added.)

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While it is the norm for girls to be encouraged to select a career, and even within the Church I have heard girls encouraged to look for their life's work outside the home, this is clearly not in step with either the scriptures or the teachings of the modern prophets. I think, too, that it is telling, the way that women talk about their lives. When you ask a woman who stays home what she does, she'll usually tell you some variant on, "I'm a stay-at-home Mom," but if you talk to women who work outside the home, even part time, they will usually tell you, "I am a nurse." "I am a teacher." "I do payroll and taxes part time for Bob's Heating." "I work a few hours a week at the craft store." It is very unusual for a working woman to mention that she is a mom when you ask what she does. The role of mother, though it is undoubtedly the more significant, gets very little consideration.

Whenever possible, the challenges and joys of full-time Mothering should be Plan A. Being a city planner or a therapist or an engineer can never hope to compare. To many listen to the feminists and other voices that encourage us to exchange our birthright for a lousy mess of pottage. Too many recoil at the foolishness of Esau's decision, and yet do the very same thing. A career is, and should be, Plan B. Mothering is the work of salvation; no career can hold a candle to that. Pretending otherwise is dangerous because it endangers souls. It pretends that following the prophet and not following the prophet are equally valid choices, and that is certainly not the case.

Which is definitely not to say don't be educated, but that's a post for another day.



P.S. I'm so glad you stopped by to read about the adventures at our house! If you want more, "Like" my blog on Facebook to get posts (and the articles n things I wish I had time to blog about) in your feed. Wanna see all the projects and ideas that I may or may not get around to? Follow me on Pinterest. Thanks for stopping by!

Hey, Look!

It's a bunny highway! 

I think it's cool that he's working around it.