If Thy Brother Offend Thee

Living in families and communities can be tough. People don't always do what we wish they would do, things don't always get communicated clearly, and even when everybody is trying hard to do right, sometimes things get tense. People get hurt. It just goes with the territory in this life. Happily, the scriptures teach us how to handle this sort of thing gracefully, with attention to both justice and mercy. A recent misunderstanding has left me wanting to make sure that I thoroughly understand the Lord's standards and methods for conflict resolution.

My starting place has long been this:

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And if thy brother or sister offend thee, thou shalt take him or her between him or her and thee alone; and if he or she confess thou shalt be reconciled. 
-Doctrine and Covenants 42:88

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In rereading this verse, I was reminded that it's part of a much more comprehensive passage instructing us about what to do when conflicts arise:

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And if thy brother or sister offend thee, thou shalt take him or her between him or her and thee alone; and if he or she confess thou shalt be reconciled. And if he or she confess not thou shalt deliver him or her up unto the church, not to the members, but to the elders. And it shall be done in a meeting, and that not before the world.
And if thy brother or sister offend many, he or she shall be chastened before many. And if any one offend openly, he or she shall be rebuked openly, that he or she may be ashamed. And if he or she confess not, he or she shall be delivered up unto the law of God.
And if any shall offend in secret, he or she shall be rebuked in secret, that he or she may have opportunity to confess in secret to him or her whom he or she has offended, and to God, that the church may not speak reproachfully of him or her.
And thus shall ye conduct in all things.
-Doctrine and Covenants 42:88-93

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The Lord's prescription when there is a conflict is simple and straightforward: First, talk it over, and try to work it out, just the two of you. Don't go running to the Bishop or other authority right off the bat: the first conversation should be with the person you are irritated with. Only if you can't work it out on your own should you start looking for a mediator-- and that quietly and discretely. Apologies should take place at the same level of public that the offense took place at. This is part of the process of growth and reconciliation. 

President Kimball expanded on this passage's counsel:

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It frequently happens that offenses are committed when the offender is not aware of it. Something he has said or done is misconstrued or misunderstood. The offended one treasures in his heart the offense, adding to it such other things as might give fuel to the fire and justify his conclusions. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why the Lord requires that the offended one should make the overtures toward peace. He says:

And if thy brother or sister offend thee, thou shalt take him or her between him or her and thee alone; and if he or she confess thou shalt be reconciled  
D&C 42:88

To the Nephites the Lord said:

. . . if ... thy brother hath aught against thee—
Go thy way unto thy brother, and first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I will receive you  
3 Ne. 12:23-24

And to the disciples in Judea he said:

Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;
Leave there thy gift before the altar and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift  
Matt. 5:23-24

Do we follow that commandment or do we sulk in our bitterness, waiting for our offender to learn of it and to kneel to us in remorse?...
Brothers and sisters and friends, if we will sue for peace taking the initiative in settling differences—if we can forgive and forget with all our hearts—if we can cleanse our own souls of sin, accusations, bitterness, and guilt before we cast a stone at others—if we forgive all real or fancied offenses before we ask forgiveness for our own sins—if we pay our own debts, large or small, before we press our debtors—if we manage to clear our own eyes of the blinding beams before we magnify the motes in the eyes of others—what a glorious world this would be!
-Elder Spencer W. Kimball, Except Ye Repent

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I think that it's important to acknowledge that it does sometimes happen that the person who is wrong, even when you go to them privately, refuses to reconcile. This makes things more difficult, but the same high standards of forgiveness apply, perhaps even more so: seeking help from the Lord to achieve forgiveness in this case will protect us from bitterness and anger. It is possible that, when the other person refuses to reconcile that finding forgiveness anyway may be even more important to our own spiritual health: it's been said that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. We need to forgive.

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"Forgiveness requires us to consider the other side of the Atonement—a side that we don’t think about as often but that is equally critical. That side is the Atonement’s power to satisfy our demands of justice against others, to fulfill our rights to restitution and being made whole. We often don’t quite see how the Atonement satisfies our own demands for justice. Yet it does so. It heals us not only from the guilt we suffer when we sin, but it also heals us from the sins and hurts of others."
-Brother James R. Rasband, Faith to Forgive Grevious Harms

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Most member of the Church will be familiar with the story of Thomas B. Marsh, how he had been ordained the President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, but then fell away, and swore out an affidavit that contributed in no small part to the circumstances that culminated in the Missouri Extermination Order, and the violent expulsion of the members from Missouri and the suffering of that period. He was excommunicated and remained outside the Church for almost 20 years, but eventually did return, apologized to the people, and was received back into the Church in full fellowship -- not an insignificant act of forgiveness on the part of the families of those who had died as a result of his actions.

What is interesting to me, in contemplating this situation, is that forgiveness, reconciliation, and consequences from the Lord all seem to be individual matters. When Brother Marsh was rebaptized his sins, as all new members' sins are, were washed away, and he was clean again. I greatly admire the courage that it took to return, to face the people that he had betrayed, and to live his final years among them. Brigham Young let him speak to the Church, and then had a show of hands from the congregation to see if they could receive him in full fellowship, following his apology and other remarks about his apostasy and return, which they did, "not a hand was raised" when Brother Brigham called for objections.

He was never reinstated to the Apostleship; that privilege was gone. Permanently.

Hopefully, we will never experience the type of betrayal that the early Saints received from Brother Marsh, but I think it is instructive to look at the pattern for the Lord's dealings here when we experience an offense at the hand of an unrepentant sinner: friendship is a position of trust, and the Lord does not always restore those who return to the positions of trust that they previously held. If we, in counsel with the Lord, choose to hold those who have injured us to a less intimate, less trusted position in our lives than what they previously held, it is not necessarily a symptom of a lack of forgiveness. Enforcing strict boundaries with those who are toxic in our lives is not a sin: it's a safety measure. He does not ask us to be doormats, but we are expected, commanded, required to forgive: "until seventy times seven." If we do not, the Lord categorically stated greater sin is in us... not them. Regardless of the sin under discussion.

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Our very salvation depends upon us being willing to forgive others. As Christ taught:
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. [Matthew 6:14–15]
That our own forgiveness should be conditioned on forgiving others can be a hard doctrine, particularly if the sin against us is horribly wrong and out of all proportion to any harm we’ve ever committed. Even harder, the Lord has indicated in modern revelation that “he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin” (D&C 64:9). This is a very strong statement: if we refuse to forgive, there remaineth in us the greater sin.
-Brother James R. Rasband, Faith to Forgive Grevious Harms (emphasis original)

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 Hopefully, offenses will be few and reconciliation will be possible. But regardless, forgiveness, trust in the Lord's ability to handle it, to heal us of the pain we have experienced, is a must.

5 Days of Books: Good Books Matter

I have occasionally run into a school of thought that says, "As long as they're reading, it's a good thing, even if the book is not a very desirable book." Sometimes this philosophy puts on very reasonable, academic-sounding clothing and says things like, "Sometimes people use the word literature in a snobby, exclusive way, implying that these books are literature, and those books are not, but in reality, all written works are literature, and we shouldn't be so quick to discount those we don't prefer."

Lies.

Some books are worth reading -- and some are not. And you don't have to dip into the truly filthy genres to find ones that are not. But, for the Christian reader, it's important to realize that there are objective standards from God that govern what books make the cut and which ones do not, and for any reader it's important to be aware that some books are simply higher quality than others. Some stories are literature -- and some are twaddle (trivial or foolish speech or writing; nonsense; also often used to describe poorly written works).  

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One more thing is of vital importance; children must have books, living books; the best are not too good for them; anything less than the best is not good enough; and if it is needful to exercise economy, let go everything that belongs to soft and luxurious living before letting go the duty of supplying the books, and the frequent changes of books, which are necessary for the constant stimulation of the child's intellectual life. We need not say one word about the necessity for living thought in the teacher; it is only so far as he is intellectually alive that he can be effective in the wonderful process which we glibly call 'education.'
-Charlotte Mason, 2:279

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Miss Mason speaks of children, but surely the same thing is true of us all: the line between teaching and learning is blurry, and I think that most adults spend a great deal of time on both sides. The apostle Paul gave us a clear standard to apply to a host of things we encounter: including our books (and other media):

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Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
-Philippians 4:8

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Paul's not describing Captain Underpants nor Twilight nor Fifty Shades of Grey's sick pornographic depiction of abuse here. He's not really talking about unobjectionably bland formulaic works, either. Paul is urging us to aim for the very best books, to make those books our teachers, to take their heroes as our companions. Books that urge and inspire us to develop the qualities that he mentions. Books that invite the Holy Spirit to be with us, so that we can learn, not only by study, but also by faith. Ones we can revisit, and share with our children and our grandchildren. Books that we can take something valuable from each time we read them.

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It is no small part of education to have seen much beauty, to recognize it when we see it, and to keep ourselves humble in its presence.
-Charlotte Mason, 6:56

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As we select books for ourselves and our children, it's our responsibility to see that they have the best books to read and to be read to, and in so doing we will bless their lives through cultivating in them (and at the same time in ourselves) a taste for the Good, the Beautiful, and the True.

All this week, I'm going to be posting about books. Stop by again to read about:

• Literature and Twaddle
• Supporting New Readers
• Second Language Literacy
• A Feast of Ideas
• Feeding the Teacher, Too

The 5 Days of Books series is part of the Homeschool Review Crew Annual Blog Hop: 5 Days of Homeschooling. Click this graphic to see what other Crew members are writing about.

Scripture: Color and Sort

Brother Bednar gave a talk, A Reservoir of Living Water, that I go back to over and over. I have learned tons from this talk, and I have no doubt that I will learn more from it in the future. In the talk, Brother Bednar explains several ways of studying the scriptures:

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I now want to review with you three basic ways or methods of obtaining living water from the scriptural reservoir: (1) reading the scriptures from beginning to end, (2) studying the scriptures by topic, and (3) searching the scriptures for connections, patterns, and themes. Each of these approaches can help satisfy our spiritual thirst if we invite the companionship and assistance of the Holy Ghost as we read, study, and search.

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He spends some time explaining each of these types of scripture study, and as part of the explanation of searching for connections, patterns, and themes, he shares this: 

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If you promise not to laugh, I will tell you about one of the simple ways I search for scriptural themes. I do not advocate or recommend that you use the same approach; different people use different methods with equal effectiveness. I am simply describing a process that works well for me.

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He then describes how he studied the spirit and purposes of gathering. First, he created a list of all the verses that use the word gather, then marked similar verses with the same color, cut apart his verses in order to sort them into piles by color, then into smaller sets within that. 

I confess, I did smile when he described the process. 

Then I tried it out. 

This is an intense type of study! I've been pondering what humility is, in the scriptural sense, for quite some time, so I made that my topic. Turns out the scriptures have tons to say about humility. To make a list of all the related verses, I went to LDS.org and searched for both humble and humility and copied the results into my word processor. Even after I reformatted things to get the most possible onto my page, there were still pages and pages of verses. Many more than I was expecting. So I got out my scripture crayons and started trying to group the verses that are similar by color. 

It's harder than it sounds, actually. Some are pretty easy to pick out: there are verses that deal with the blessings of humility, and verses that deal with the consequences that arise from a lack of humility. But a surprising number are tricky to categorize, and the process is a slow process with plenty of stops to ponder what the verses are saying and how they ought to be grouped. 

As I was going along, I noticed that there's a list -which will clearly be a relatively large list- of actions that are associated with being humble: things humble people do. I've started putting these things into a list in my scripture journal. 

But, in addition to making my list (it'll make a great scripture chain when I'm done), I kept coloring. And it kept being challenging. I changed the color of some verses, added a few more colors to my options, and gradually got more of my verses colored, though some of them continue to be tough to categorize. I think that the students listening to Brother Bednar might have been less inclined to chuckle at him, had they realized the amount of work he was describing! I work on my Psalms study projects probably once or twice each week, as time allows for a deeper dive into the scriptures, and this project is taking quite a few sessions! Happily, it's a type of project that waits its turn nicely. 

At this point, I decided that white is a color, and it might be easier to sort the remaining verses if I could get all the uncolored ones together, and go through just those.   

So I found some scissors and started cutting. Right away, I realized that it would be easier to work with these if they weren't so long and skinny: next time I'll set up some columns on my page. It's quite the pile of skinny little papers. 

One of the interesting things is how much I have learned already, even though the project is far from complete. I've learned several things that humility is not -- notably, humility is not an excuse for beating ourselves up. It's not even really about our lowness or unworthiness in relation to the highness of God's perfection. That isn't one of the themes that I'm finding and coloring as I do this project. Satan always has a counterfeit, to distract us from the real thing, and to injure us when we're expecting growth. Self-devaluing is a counterfeit, and will harm us, where genuine humility will lift us toward our potential as sons and daughters of the Most High. 

I'm not finished with the project, yet, but I have learned a whole bunch already, and the project got somewhat derailed, and sat and waited for several months, so I thought that I'd share what I've discovered already from this method of study. 

Have fun coloring! 

Psalm 10: Repellent Vices

This psalm is another one that I read and re-read before it started to come into focus. One thing that I'm starting to really appreciate about studying and blogging about every single psalm is that it makes me slow down and really see them: I have to be patient and persistent in searching for what the Spirit will teach me about these chapters. It can be frustrating, but I am finding that it's yielding some lovely results.

So I re-read the 10th Psalm. Again. And this time, I'm noticing a whole lot of what not to do. This psalm has a lengthy list of vices, sins, and behaviors to guard against.

• persecuting the poor
• boasting
• not seeking God
• scoffing (puffing) at your enemy
• overestimating your own strength
• speaking curses
• speaking deceitfully or fraudulently
• murdering the innocent
• setting your eyes against the poor
• lying in wait to catch the poor
• thinking God doesn't see you

There's a lot in there. I think it's interesting how many of the items on this list deal with how we treat the poor, and generally how you treat those who society suggests are of lesser status -and less status typically goes hand-in-hand with the idea that they are less valuable, which of course is completely untrue. But how we treat the "invisible" people - the cashier, the teller, the housekeeper at work, it matters. It really is true: you can tell a lot about a person by watching how they treat the waitress. 

So. Vices. We should be getting rid of them. But we don't talk about them much in our day. We don't have a good long look at deceitfulness (and the rest), to see how ugly it really is. I've also recently been reading a lot from Charlotte Mason, a 19th Century educator who has inspired a homeschooling movement, and she talked about the value of seeing the contrasts between virtue and vice, and I think it is her words that have made it so that I can see this list of vices and sins more clearly. This is what she said:

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In the Arena Chapel at Padua, we have Giotto's Faith and Infidelity, Love and Envy, Charity and Avarice, Justice and Injustice, Temperance and Gluttony, Hope and Despair, pictured forth in unmistakeable characters for the reading of the unlearned and ignorant. We have the same theme, treated with a difference, in what Mr. Ruskin calls the "Bible of Amiens," where Humility and Pride, Temperance and Gluttony, Chastity and Lust, Charity and Avarice, Hope and Despair, Faith and Idolatry, Perseverance and Atheism, Love and Discord, Obedience and Rebellion, Courage and Cowardice, Patience and Anger, Gentleness and Churlishness,--in pairs of quatre-foils, an upper and a lower, under the feet of each Apostle, who was held to personify the special virtue. But we know nothing about cardinal virtues and deadly sins. We have no teaching by authoritative utterance strong in the majesty of virtue. We work out no schemes of ethical teaching in marble, we paint no scale of virtues on our walls, and no repellent vices. Our poets speak for us it is true; but the moral aphorisms, set like jewels though they be on the forefinger of time, are scattered here and there, and we leaven it serenely to happy chance whether our children shall or shall not light upon the couple of lines which should fire them with the impulse to virtuous living. It may be said that we neglect all additional ethical teaching because we have the Bible; but how far and how do we use it? Here we have indeed the most perfect ethical system, the most inspiring and heart-enthralling, that the world has ever possessed; but, alas, it is questionable whether we attempt to set a noble child's heart beating with the thought that he is required to be perfect as his Father which is in Heaven is perfect.
-Charlotte Mason, Teaching in the Branches

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Looking at some of the works of art that she mentions, relics from a time when Bibles were copied by hand, and only the very elite had access to them, is interesting. In order to teach, they would paint and sculpt the virtues and vices on the walls of cathedrals: virtues to measure yourself against, and also demonstrations of how repellent vice is. There's a lot you can learn from the Bad Guys; I've written about that before. It's pleasant and inspiring to study virtue, and deciding to develop virtues is a hopeful, optimistic enterprise. But it takes courage to have a long look at your faults and to then head to the scriptures and study those faults.

I love, too, that the Psalmist didn't leave us with only repellent vices; the end of the chapter is an assurance of the Lord's care for those who follow Him, and hope for relief in Him.

Photo courtesy LDS Media Library

On Classical Education: What Is a Student?

This post is part of a series:

Character is the True Aim
Cultivation of Godly Character
What is a Student? (this post)
Make Haste Slowly
Much Not Many
Ordered Affections
Repetition is the Mother of Memory
Repetition and the Habit of Attention
Embodied Learning (part 1)
Embodied Learning (part 2)Songs Chants and Jingles
Wonder and Curiosity
Educational Virtues
Contemplation
By Teaching We Learn
Classical Education is Like a Table



I've been listening to and blogging about Dr. Perrin's series of lectures about Classical Education for a while now, and this time I've been working on his lecture about Educational Virtues. I listened to this lecture three or four times before I started to make sense of it. Part of that is that, for some odd reason, coming up with a whole hour to just sit and listen just isn't happening. So I'm listening while I cook or do dishes. But part of it is that until now I have never, ever considered the effect of virtue on learning. And this new (to me) idea has taken some time to make room for in my thoughts. 

Dr. Perrin suggests that until students are ready to exert themselves, to develop what he calls "educational virtues", and use them to actively seek knowledge and growth, to love the thing is that are lovely, until people do that --

-- They're not really students. 

And the more I think about it, the more I am convinced he's right. We are meant to act, not to be acted upon. Education is the task of building our best self, of cultivating our capacity for Truth, Goodness, and Beauty.

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Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and His grace, our failures to live the celestial law perfectly and consistently in mortality can be erased and we are enabled to develop a Christlike character. Justice demands, however, that none of this happen without our willing agreement and participation.
-Elder D. Todd Christopherson,emphasis added, Free Forever To Act For Themselves

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I can, and should, create opportunities for my children to interact with the True, the Good, and the Lovely. I am charged with the responsibility of seeing to it that their education takes place in a context that embraces the best books, that seeks for the virtuous, lovely, and praiseworthy and spreads it, like a feast, for their growth. But ultimately, they have to choose to take it in. Or it won't go.

But virtue isn't something that our culture thinks about much, anymore. Virtue is pretty much never trending or viral. What is it? Dr. Perrin, in his lecture about educational virtues says this:

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"Virtue can be defined in a number of ways. It's related to the Latin word, the word for man is actually veir... There is a Latin word, virtus, but it had this idea of the ideal, excellent human being who embodied all what the Greeks call excellence or erite. We get the word virile from the same root, veir. So it was this idealized human being, that had all the great qualities that you would wish for... Virtues are... deeply embedded parts of our character... that readily dispose us to feel, think and act in morally appropriate ways."

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As parents, we need to not only cultivate in our children an inclination and habit of thinking, feeling, and behaving in morally correct ways, we must also cultivate these same traits in ourselves: we cannot pass to our children that which we do not possess. We need to be, ourselves, journeying toward this heroic ideal of human excellence. We are trying to inspire in them the belief that they can be the heroic figures with which their education ought to be filled.

Interestingly, he also says that, in certain cases, habits can be synonymous with virtues, in that when we make a habit of feeling, thinking, and acting correctly, this begins to define who we are - in this way we become virtuous. Being that I'm also currently studying Charlotte Mason's thoughts on Classical Education, I thought this was really interesting: Charlotte Mason had a lot to say about habits.

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The habits of the child determine the character of the man.
-Charlotte Mason, vol. 1, page 118

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That sounds very much like what Dr. Perrin was getting at. Miss Mason also said this:

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Let children alone... the education of habit is successful in so far as it enables the mother to let her children alone, not teasing them with perpetual commands and directions - a running fire of Do and Don’t ; but letting them go their own way and grow, having first secured that they will go the right way and grow to fruitful purpose.
-Charlotte Mason, vol. 1, page 134

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Miss Mason is suggesting for our homes much the same thing that Joseph Smith said when he was asked how he governs his people. He said,

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I teach the people correct principles and they govern themselves.
-Joseph Smith, quoted by John Taylor, JD 10:57-58

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And that's exactly what we're looking for: students -people, parents, citizens- with the virtue, the self-discipline, to govern themselves at all times and places. And this need for virtue starts in education. And education starts when a person chooses to exert themselves to learn: when they begin to make choices from which a natural outgrowth of those choices is the cultivation and strengthening of these necessary virtues.

Dr. Perrin spends some time talking about what happens in the absence of virtue, when you have what he calls "disordered passions." This idea of disordered passions is really more broad than what the word passion might suggest. C.S. Lewis said it this way:

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Aristotle says that the aim of education is
to make the pupil like and dislike what he ought.

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Which brings us again back to the cultivation and appreciation of Truth, Beauty, and Goodness, and to the need for virtue. In much the same way that we help our children cultivate the taste for healthy foods, rather than allowing them to eat their preferred diet of ice cream and marshmallows, we need to guide their education towards that which will help their souls to grow.

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...seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom, seek learning even by study and also by faith...
-Doctrine and Covenants 109:7

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The Lord wasn't only saying that we need both study and faith to learn the most effectively, though obviously that's important. But there's this idea of best books that is important because it is only the very best books that will develop the soul the way we need to in order to reach our vast potential as children of God. We cannot expect to dine, intellectually (which really is spiritually), on intellectual and spiritual ice cream and marshmallows, and expect to be able to grow a healthy soul that way. Nor can we indulge in pablum, twaddle, or award-winning trash that passes as "literature" and expect to grow the way that children of the Most High ought to. The injunction is to seek out, not just good books or better books, but the very best books for ourselves and our families. We need to find the cream of the crop, the ones that will urge us on toward the heroic ideal, toward ordered passions.

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How will you manage to think rightly with a sick soul? A heart ravaged by vice, pulled this way and that by passion, dragged astray by violent or guilty love? Passions and vices relax the attention, and scatter it, lead it astray, and they injure the judgement in round-about ways. Knowledge depends on the direction given our passions, and our moral habits.
-quoted by Dr. Perrin

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Scripture puts it more succinctly, not only giving instruction relative to our passions, but also pointing out the result of that effort: being filled with love.

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...and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love...
-Alma 38:12

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Disordered passions hinder and can even prevent the acquisition of knowledge. And this happens because, if, when the student sets down to learn, he has too many thing competing for his attention, then he will not be able to focus effectively. If he's not engaged in the learning at hand - which requires that he love it to some degree - then something else will occupy his mind, and his learning will suffer as a result. And here's the rub: in this fallen world, the thing which comes most naturally is seldom, if ever going to be that which is True, Good and Beautiful. Things that come naturally - the natural man - are in opposition to God, who is the embodiment and perfect fulfillment of Truth, Goodness, and Beauty. It is always going to be harder to seek Truth, Goodness, and Beauty than it is to settle for the white lie, the good enough, and the pleasant. But settling isn't what education is about. It's not what a student is.

20 Principles: Habit in Religious Life

This post is part of a series. Feel free to visit the series index for more thoughts on the writings of Charlotte Mason.


I've joined a Charlotte Mason study group. I'm already behind. But I'm learning tons anyway, so I'm happy; it's not a race. I've been reading Teaching in the Branches, where Miss Mason outlines some of the principles that underlie the work they did as they were teaching in the various branch schools in her organization. There's a lot of great food for thought, but this really caught my attention:

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The next point we have set ourselves to consider is the laying down of lines of habit in the religious life. ... Let us consider the subject as it bears upon habits of thought and of attitude of life and of speech; though indeed all these are one, for every act and attitude is begotten of a thought, however unaware we be of thinking.

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The Lord has asked us to acquire a number of habits that, taken together, comprise the heart of our relationship with Him: He commands that we pray, that we read, search, and ponder scripture, that we bring Him our questions and problems. Additionally, that which we might describe as "Christian living" is a way of life that grows out of habits drawn from scripture: we are hard working rather than idle, honest, rather than deceitful. We honor our parents and care for our spouses and children. We turn the other cheek, forgive, and are kind. We care for the widow, the fatherless, and the unfortunate. We are hospitable and generous.

All these things are often thought of as morals or values, but it is doing them habitually that writes them on our hearts, that slowly brings about the mighty change of heart and, through the Grace of Christ, transforms us and overcomes the natural man.

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Man is the sum result of what he thinks and does. Habit is the instrument that molds his character and makes of him essentially what he is. Habit can become a monster to tarnish and destroy, yet proper behavioral traits can bring lasting joy and achievement. To say no at the right time and then stand by it is the first element of success. The effect that both good and bad habits have on our lives is all too real to be ignored. 

-Elder Alvin R. Dryer, The Nobility of Man in Choosing Good over Evil

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We don't often talk about it in those terms, but certainly habit plays a big role in our efforts to endure to the end. Many times, the Lord has used the habitual scripture study our family does at the end of the day to speak to me in times of need. And teaching these things, these ideals, habits, and patterns of life to our children is a parent's sacred duty. I think it is our duty because it will give them the tools they need to be strong and resilient and safe in the Lord during the hard times.

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Moral Habits, the way to form them and the bounden duty of every parent to send children into the world with a good outfit of moral habits, isn't a subject so much to the front in our thoughts... The moral impulse having been given by means of some such inspiring idea as we have considered, the parent's next business is to keep the idea well to the front, with tact and delicacy and without insistence, and to afford apparently casual opportunities for moral effort on the lines of the first impulse. 
-Charlotte Mason, Teaching in the Branches

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Moral habits can and should be at the heart of education because, as David O. McKay said,

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Character is the aim of true education; and science, history, and literature are but means used to accomplish the desired end.
-David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, pp. 440-441

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But character is most often a plant of slow growth. Habits of thought are cultivated when we read history and literature with an eye toward noticing the virtues and vices of the characters we encounter. By reading quality literature that shows truly the effects of choices on outcome, we give our children the opportunity to experience vicariously the costs and benefits of different choices, and good books can help us to guide our children toward right living, as well as reenforcing the need and benefit of good religious habit. 

Little Women was the first book where I noticed this effect on myself: the goodness of the March girls left me wanting to become better myself. Since then, I have become much more aware of this aspect of reading, and appreciate the way that a skilled author can inspire without ever preaching. Consistently choosing high quality literature for their education offers our children many opportunities to encounter and admire the results of these religious habits, as well as the lack of those habits - and it allows us the opportunity to discuss it as thoroughly as our children need, without running into concerns about gossip or other difficulties that come with too much discussion of real, live people in our community and acquaintance. Of course, the very best literature is scripture. There is no more direct way path toward wisdom and virtue than by studying scripture, which should hold a primary place in the education of our children.

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"Our children should be indoctrinated in the principles of the Gospel from their earliest childhood. They should be made familiar with the contents of the Bible, the Book of Mormon and the Book of Doctrine and Covenants. These should be their chief text books, and everything should be done to establish and promote in their hearts genuine faith in God, in His Gospel and its ordinances, and in His works."
-Wilford Woodruff (source)

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Sometimes, dealing directly with the Word can be intimidating, and it is easy to become reliant on devotional books and even church manuals (many of which have much to offer), but none of them can offer our children the strength or depth or power that is in Scripture itself, and you cannot grow into understanding the actual words of the Lord recorded in scripture if you do not meet with and work with the actual text of scripture.

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The habit of hearing, and later, of reading the Bible, is one to establish at an early age. We are met with a difficulty that the Bible is, in fact, a library containing passages and, indeed, whole books which are not for the edification of children; and many parents fall back upon little collections of texts for morning and evening use. But I doubt the wisdom of this plan. We may believe that the narrative teaching of the Scriptures is far more helpful to children, anyway, than the stimulating moral and spiritual texts picked out from them in little devotional books.
-Charlotte Mason, Teaching in the Branches, emphasis added

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This post is part of a series. You can also visit the series index for more essays inspired by Charlotte Mason's excellent work.

Commonplace Sampler: March

"An educated conscience is a far rarer possession than we imagine ... we believe that Latin and Greek must be taught, but that morals come by nature."
-Charlotte Mason, Teaching in the Branches

Well do I remember an experience while speaking to a group of missionaries. After I had invited questions, one elder stood. With tears in his eyes, he asked, “Why did Jesus have to suffer so much?” I asked the elder to open his book of hymns and recite words from “How Great Thou Art.” He read:

And when I think that God, his Son not sparing,

Sent him to die, I scarce can take it in,

That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,

He bled and died to take away my sin.  

Then I asked this elder to read from “Reverently and Meekly Now.” These words are particularly poignant because they are written as the Lord would express His own answer to the very question that had been asked:

Think of me, thou ransomed one;

Think what I for thee have done.

With my blood that dripped like rain,

Sweat in agony of pain,

With my body on the tree

I have ransomed even thee. …

Oh, remember what was done

That the sinner might be won.

On the cross of Calvary

I have suffered death for thee. 

Jesus suffered deeply because He loves us deeply! He wants us to repent and be converted so that He can fully heal us.

-Russell M. Nelson, Jesus Christ -- The Master Healer, October Conference 2005



 On the other hand,  it is well that they should understand the limitations of authority. Even the divine authority does not compel. It indicates the way and protects the wayfarer and strengthens and directs self-compelling power. It permits a man to make free choice of obedience rather than compels him to obey. In the moral teaching of children arbitrary action almost always produces revolt.
-Charlotte Mason, Teaching in the Branches



"To the Editor of the Times & Seasons:

Sir:—Through the medium of your paper, I wish to correct an error among men that profess to be learned, liberal and wise; and I do it the more cheerfully, because I hope sober-thinking and sound-reasoning people will sooner listen to the voice of truth, than be led astray by the vain pretensions of the self-wise. The error I speak of, is the definition of the word “Mormon.” It has been stated that this word was derived from the Greek word “mormo.” This is not the case. There was no Greek or Latin upon the plates from which I, through the grace of God, translated the Book of Mormon. Let the language of that book speak for itself. On the 523rd page, of the fourth edition, it reads: “And now behold we have written this record according to our knowledge in the characters, which are called among us the “Reformed Egyptian,” being handed down and altered by us, according to our manner of speech; and if our plates had been sufficiently large, we should have written in Hebrew: but the Hebrew hath been altered by us, also; and if we could have written in Hebrew, behold ye would have had no imperfection in our record, but the Lord knoweth the things which we have written, and also, that none other people knoweth our language; therefore he hath prepared means for the interpretation thereof.”

Here then the subject is put to silence, for “none other people knoweth our language,” therefore the Lord, and not man, had to interpret, after the people were all dead. And as Paul said, “the world by wisdom know not God,” so the world by speculation are destitute of revelation; and as God in his superior wisdom, has always given his Saints, wherever he had any on the earth, the same spirit, and that spirit, as John says, is the true spirit of prophecy, which is the testimony of Jesus, I may safely say that the word Mormon stands independent of the learning and wisdom of this generation. —Before I give a definition, however, to the word, let me say that the Bible in its widest sense, means good; for the Savior says according to the gospel of John, “I am the good shepherd;” and it will not be beyond the common use of terms, to say that good is among the most important in use, and though known by various names in different languages, still its meaning is the same, and is ever in opposition to “bad.” We say from the Saxon, “good”; the Dane, “god”; the Goth, “goda”; the German, “gut”; the Dutch, “goed”; the Latin, “bonus”; the Greek, “kalos”; the Hebrew, “tob”; and the Egyptian, “mon.” Hence, with the addition of “more,” or the contraction, “mor,” we have the word “mormon”; which means, literally, “more good.”

Yours,
JOSEPH SMITH.
(May 15, 1843.) T&S 4:194.
From the Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p299-300

The truth made sense; it tasted good. It wore well, like an old coat.
-Joseph and Emma: A Love Story, vol. 1, p 37

We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.

-Dallin H Oaks, Good Better Best, October Conference 2007

"Be courteous to all but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation."

-George Washington



God can't use you as He desires until you have learned to be absolutely obedient. Many have faith, and many have love, but few have the fierce self-discipline to be completely obedient.
-Joseph and Emma: A Love Story, vol.1, p232

Stern lawgiver! yet thou dost wear

The Godhead's most benignant grace;

Not know we anything so fair

As the smile upon thy face;

Flowers laugh before thee on their beds;

And fragrance in thy footing treads;

Thou dost preserve the stars from wrong;

And the most ancient heaves, through thee, are fresh and strong.

-Wordsworths's Ode to Duty,
Quoted by Charlotte Mason in Teaching in the Branches

In the matter of the Ideas that inspire the virtuous life, we miss much by our laissez-aller way of taking things for granted.
-Charlotte Mason in Teaching in the Branches




In the Arena Chapel at Padua, we have Giotto's Faith and Infidelity, Love and Envy, Charity and Avarice, Justice and Injustice, Temperance and Gluttony, Hope and Despair, pictured forth in unmistakeable characters for the reading of the unlearned and ignorant. We have the same theme, treated with a difference, in what Mr. Ruskin calls the "Bible of Amiens," where Humility and Pride, Temperance and Gluttony, Chastity and Lust, Charity and Avarice, Hope and Despair, Faith and Idolatry, Perseverance and Atheism, Love and Discord, Obedience and Rebellion, Courage and Cowardice, Patience and Anger, Gentleness and Churlishness,--in pairs of quatre-foils, an upper and a lower, under the feet of each Apostle, who was held to personify the special virtue. But we know nothing about cardinal virtues and deadly sins. We have no teaching by authoritative utterance strong in the majesty of virtue. We work out no schemes of ethical teaching in marble, we paint no scale of virtues on our walls, and no repellent vices. Our poets speak for us it is true; but the moral aphorisms, set like jewels though they be on the forefinger of time, are scattered here and there, and we leaven it serenely to happy chance whether our children shall or shall not light upon the couple of lines which should fire them with the impulse to virtuous living. It may be said that we neglect all additional ethical teaching because we have the Bible; but how far and how do we use it? Here we have indeed the most perfect ethical system, the most inspiring and heart-enthralling, that the world has ever possessed; but, alas, it is questionable whether we attempt to set a noble child's heart beating with the thought that he is required to be perfect as his Father which is in Heaven is perfect.

It is time we set ourselves seriously to this work of moral education which is to be done, most of all, by presenting the children with high ideals. "Lives of great men all remind us we can make our lives sublime," and the study of the lives of great men and of the great moments in the lives of smaller men is most wonderfully inspiring...
-Charlotte Mason in Teaching in the Branches

An Example of the Believers (part 2)

 

Part 1 is here.

We should be an example of the believers~


In Spirit

President Monson said, of those who are successfully being an example in spirit:

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We experience a special feeling when we are with them, a feeling that makes us want to associate with them and to follow their example. They radiate the Light of Christ and help us feel His love for us. (Be an Example and a Light)

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This radiance of the Light of Christ is what Elder Ballard was hoping that we would allow others to see when he encouraged us to build gospel-sharing homes, and then allow our friends to come into them.

Now, the Greek that this comes from is extremely interesting. The Greek word, pneuma, is used 350 times in the Bible. Strong's says that it means "a current of air, i.e. breath (blast) or a breeze; by analogy or figuratively, a spirit, i.e. (human) the rational soul, (by implication) vital principle, mental disposition, etc., or (superhuman) an angel, demon, or (divine) God, Christ's spirit, the Holy Spirit:—ghost, life, spirit(-ual, -ually), mind." It reminds me forcefully of some of the Eastern philosophy I've rubbed up against. Very interesting. This section has really made me slow down and ponder what is being conveyed here.

What is it to be an example of the believers in spirit?  In our "rational soul"? Our "vital principle"? Our "mental disposition"? Surely we're not talking about skin-deep Sunday Christianity, here. This is no pretended virtue that our Prophet recommended to us in his extremity! This is something much more. The idea of a current of air or breath reminds me of how God put into us our spirits - the breath of life - and we were alive. It's THAT fundamental. No wonder the scriptures talk about a "mighty change" in our hearts. This goes right to the center of what it is to be alive, to be fully human, to be made (and remade) in the Divine image.

No wonder, then, that -

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We experience a special feeling when we are with them, a feeling that makes us want to associate with them and to follow their example. They radiate the Light of Christ and help us feel His love for us.

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In Faith

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To be an example of faith means that we trust in the Lord and in His word.
-Thomas S. Monson, Be an Example and a Light (emphasis added)

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Faith can be hard to really distinguish from trust in the Lord, because the two are so closely related. The more we trust Him, the more our faith grows. Or maybe it grows the other way, sometimes: the more our faith grows, the more completely we are able to trust in Him. In His words, in His timing, in His guidance - even when we can't see how it makes sense, or it leads away from what we think we want or need. Trusting Him means understanding that His ways are higher, better than ours, that He is wiser that we are, and able to counsel us wisely. No matter the topic, no matter the cost; His ways are better.

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To be an example of faith means that we trust in the Lord and in His word. It means that we possess and that we nourish the beliefs that will guide our thoughts and our actions. Our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and in our Heavenly Father will influence all that we do. Amidst the confusion of our age, the conflicts of conscience, and the turmoil of daily living, an abiding faith becomes an anchor to our lives. Remember that faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other.
-Thomas S. Monson, Be an Example and a Light

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There was a lot of talk at the October Conference of how to go about nourishing our beliefs. I counted 5 different speakers who asked us to read and ponder our scriptures. And I don't think that I caught this one, from President Monson, where he said, "Nourish the beliefs that will guide our thoughts and actions," since he didn't come right out and say the words, "read your scriptures." (It's easy to miss things when you're watching with little kids!)

In Alma's sermon to the Zoramite poor, I think it's interesting that he compares faith to a seed. Not that this is particularly earth-shattering news; most people who have any familiarity with the Book of Mormon at all are going to be at least passingly familiar with this comparison, because it gets discussed frequently. But I think it's interesting because it's such a plain thing. A seed. We help our toddlers plant them in clear plastic cups so they can see the magic of a seed - and that with very little help. Some few types of seeds are fussy things, but when I think of seeds, I think of those cups we do with toddlers. As long as the toddler doesn't knock them over (too many times) or completely drown them, they're going to start growing. If you put it in damp dirt, there will be a plant. So what does that say about faith?

Paul taught that faith comes by hearing the word of God. Such a simple thing: exposure to God's word - to scripture. It's simple, like the kindergartner's seed. Just bring the elements together, and let the miracle happen. No wonder they're asking us to read our scriptures. Brother Uchtdorf said it like this:

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Brothers and sisters, living the gospel doesn’t need to be complicated.

It is really straightforward. It could be described like this:

• Hearing the word of God with earnest intent leads us to believe in God and to trust His promises.
• The more we trust God, the more our hearts are filled with love for Him and for each other.
• Because of our love for God, we desire to follow Him and bring our actions in alignment with His word.
• Because we love God, we want to serve Him; we want to bless the lives of others and help the poor and the needy.
• The more we walk in this path of discipleship, the more we desire to learn the word of God.

And so it goes, each step leading to the next and filling us with ever-increasing faith, hope, and charity.

It is beautifully simple, and it works beautifully.

"It Works Wonderfully!"

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In Purity

Purity is a very interesting word. It comes from the Greek hagneia, meaning cleanliness, and especially chastity. Which really surprised me. I have always understood chastity to be about sexual relations, but that doesn't fit this context very well. Webster's 1828 dictionary has this insight:

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CHASTE, adjective
1. Pure from all unlawful commerce of sexes. Applied to persons before marriage, it signifies pure from all sexual commerce, undefiled; applied to married persons, true to the marriage bed.
2. Free from obscenity.
While they behold your chaste conversation. 1 Peter 3:2.
3. In language, pure; genuine; uncorrupt; free from barbarous words and phrases, and from quaint, affected, extravagant expressions.

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That made a lot more sense for the context in 1 Timothy 4:12. Be an example by being sexually pure and by avoiding obscenity and "barbarous words and phrases". Thinking about that has made me reconsider some of the things that I occasionally say. Just as modesty is far more than the clothes we wear, the cleanliness that the Lord is trying to help us achieve is far more than sexual purity. We need the whole package to achieve what He has in mind for us: he wants to make us Zion people, heirs and joint heirs with Him. There's an awful lot of insight in this verse as to how that is to be accomplished.

On Classical Education: Cultivating Godly Character

This post is part of a series:

Character is the True Aim
Cultivation of Godly Character (this post)
What is a Student? 
Make Haste Slowly
Much Not Many
Ordered Affections
Repetition is the Mother of Memory
Repetition and the Habit of Attention
Embodied Learning (part 1)
Embodied Learning (part 2)Songs Chants and Jingles
Wonder and Curiosity
Educational Virtues
Contemplation
By Teaching We Learn
Classical Education is Like a Table


What is man, that thou art mindful of him? (Psalm 8:4)

What is man, that thou shouldst magnify him? (Job 7:17)

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One need not grope for answers to these penetrating questions ... “Ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation” (1 Pet. 2:9). “Ye … are … a spiritual house, an holy priesthood” (1 Pet. 2:5).
-Thomas S. Monson, April 1988

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Our little ones are no less than the Children of God. What education is suitable for God's children? What kind of education awakens and nurtures their divine spark, enabling them to obey the Savior's injunction to be perfect, and grow toward their potential as joint-heirs with Christ?

Given this view of the students, it makes perfect sense that the development of godly character should be the true aim of education. Knowing why provides the motivation, but there still remains the question of how best to go about offering this sort of education to my children. It will not, I think, be merely adding "character" classes to the lineup, alongside the math, history, science, and so on that we are already studying.

So, I began to ask myself, "How does one develop good character, and how can education be a tool in this process?" The first step is to reintroduce God to education.

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“[T]he knowledge of God is the principal knowledge, and the chief end of education.

-Charlotte Mason, A Philosophy of Education

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"Our children should be indoctrinated in the principles of the Gospel from their earliest childhood. They should be made familiar with the contents of the Bible, the Book of Mormon and the Book of Doctrine and Covenants. These should be their chief text books, and everything should be done to establish and promote in their hearts genuine faith in God, in His Gospel and its ordinances, and in His works."
-Wilford Woodruff (source)

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Wherever possible, scripture should be introduced into education. Handwriting practice can include verses from the Standard Works. Memorization of scripture, poetry, and other uplifting materials is appropriate for students of all ages. (The Scripture Memory System has been invaluable in our home for this.) Sacred history can and should be reintegrated into the study of history, and the hand of Providence, so often evident in the history of the world, should be discussed whenever it is noted. Current government school practice has made it the norm to divorce education from faith in any and every way, and to belittle, demean, or simply to ignore (as if He was of no consequence) the role of God in history, science, and all other areas of study. This tendency must be resisted. Doing as Wilford Woodruff suggested, and making scripture the first, chief, and most lasting textbook will go far in moulding our own character as well as that of our children, because it will impress upon us and them who they are, what their potential actually is, as well as cultivating the ability to perceive the active hand of our Father in shaping the fate of men and nations.

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[T]he development of character comes only as we focus on who we really are. 
-Russell M. Nelson, Living by Scriptural Guidance

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From a foundation of scripture, we then must seek for other ways to help our children grow into men and women of good character - and to help them understand why we are guiding them on this path, so that, when they are grown, they will continue along the same lines. Classical Education has a long history and well-worn paths, proven as effective methods of accomplishing these goals. Andrew Kern, quoted in "Classical Paradigm" said this: 

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"Classical Education is the cultivation of wisdom and virtue through meditating on the good, the true, and the beautiful."

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So we put the good, the true and the beautiful in front of our children at every opportunity. One way we can do this is through the use of high quality literature. Indeed, in times past, one of the principle reasons for learning Latin and Greek was to be able to meet the great literature of these cultures in its own language. But even without such accomplishment in foreign languages, there is a wealth of high quality literature available. And when we spend time reading it, all kinds of wonderful things happen. We are exposed to ideas that might otherwise be absent from our circle. And we meet personality types we might not otherwise meet as well. This can be a significant assist as we teach and prepare our children for the wider world, beyond the shelter of our home.

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I think, with books, I can warn my children against certain character types long before we actually meet any of them without encouraging a judgmental and critical spirit, and without exposing them to personal unhappiness in the process.
Charlotte Mason, in common with many classical educators, suggests reading good books for their moral lessons as well as for their literary value. The better the literary quality, the more likely it is that the reader will gain something of moral value from his reading. Miss Mason thought that children should be put in touch with the great ideas, with information clothed in literary language provided by great minds. Good books - meaning well-written books - contribute good material for moral growth.
-Wendi Capehart, Books Build Character

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I am delighted by this idea that we can use these fictional characters to discuss persons and personalities - all without using specific real world examples, so as to avoid pointing out others' flaws (always a hazardous and questionable occupation) or potentially hurting somebody's feelings. How useful! I think we've already done this, to a certain extent, but now I want to watch our stories not only for the good behavior they may inspire, but also for the less desirable behavior to discuss and ponder. It is a whole class of teaching moments that I hadn't fully recognized in both literature and scripture.

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"We know that the pillar of Classical Education is classics. ... A classic is a book, or a work of art or music or anything, which you can read or appreciate again and again and again, and get more out of it each time. ... It's particularly apropos for Christian educators, because implies what is the great classic? The Bible. Which you could read an infinite number of times, and get more out of it each time." -Andrew Pudewa, "What Are We Really Doing Here?"

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There are, of course, many other areas of character development. Family work - the process of teaching kids to participate in and value work - is also hugely important.

Work builds and refines character, creates beauty, and is the instrument of our service to one another and to God. I don't know that, classically, educators would have had to explicitly include learning to do physical work in the curriculum, but in our day, with so many labor-saving devices, and the overly indulgent attitude towards childrearing  that has become prevalent, I find that it is helpful to specifically include work in our educational routine. And this also serves the ends of a Classical Education:

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Work builds and refines character, creates beauty, and is the instrument of our service to one another and to God.
-D. Todd Chirstopherson, Reflections on a Consecrated Life

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Including household chores in our routine serves to break up the day, keeping everyone from getting stale from sitting around doing the same thing all the time, it teaches necessary life skills, and is one aspect of how we can teach our children to work hard.

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“All true Work is sacred; in all true Work, were it but true hand-labour, there is something of divineness. Labour, wide as the Earth, has its summit in Heaven.”
-Thomas Carlyle, quoted in Reflections on a Consecrated Life

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This idea of climbing toward a heavenly summit is really the basis of what happens in a Classical Education. In that process of climbing toward the divine, we are likely to see such fruits as jobs and citizenship, but those things, worthy as they are, are not the end of education in themselves. The education of God's children is much, much more than mere training for a transitory mortal job. It is setting their feet firmly on the path toward their Eternal Home.