Singing Praises Again

When my daughter was in the hospital, The Lord taught me some beautiful things about getting through hard times. And, as happens in this life, hard times have a way of coming for more than one visit. This time, as I was talking to my sister, Heidelbeere, we were getting a bit bogged down, and I suddenly remembered. It went like this:

"Remember the Jaredites, sloshing around in the bottom of those ships? With the poo and the bees?"

"What a pleasant picture you're painting." She had no idea where I was going with it. I was smiling more already.

"I know, right? Do you remember what they were doing?"

"No."

"Singing praises. The whole time. We need to find something to praise."

So we did. We counted blessings. And I have been continuing to do it off and on all morning. This pretty much sums it up. I love this music anyway, but it's especially moving today.




Gloria. Gloria in excelsis Deo. 

Glory to God in the highest!

 Christ already fixed it. He already fixed it, before our hurt ever happened. And we can benefit from it as soon as we will let Him give us His gift.

I spent some time thinking about forgiveness today. It's hard to forgive others; it's hard to forgive ourselves. But what a gift! He makes it possible. That's why we sing. That's why we shouted for joy!



Here are some of the things I was reminded of today, wandering Pinterest, and thinking about forgiveness.

 

It's true. Hurting people hurt others - often without really even meaning to do it. Christ's love is the cure. "Mary, did you know?" Her sweet Baby Boy is the reason that forgiveness is meaningful.What a beautiful, healing gift He has given us!

I wrestled with this on and off all day. I've been feeling hurt - and I know that what I'm feeling can't hold a candle to what some of my very favorite people are feeling, and that hurts too. But I kept pinning, kept thinking about forgiveness.

Eventually, I came to this one, and for whatever reason, I clicked through and read the story. I never do that with these inspirational quotes. But I'm glad I did with this one. It's worth reading. I'll wait.

 

I've done some pretty thoughtless things. Some, not too unlike the thing that's hurting today. The Lord, in His mercy, has been working with me to let go of the blame and guilt I still feel over it... 20 years later... and He took the opportunity to teach me some more today.

 

 I needed to hear that. I was praying about it, a little later on, and apologizing. Again. "I'm sorry for being dumb-- " The Spirit stopped me. I wasn't supposed to say that. He gave me another word. "I'm sorry for being young." For not knowing what I didn't know before I learned it. And all the sudden, it was clear that I'd been holding myself to an absolutely impossible standard. And it made it easier to extend grace to myself -- and to others. My mistakes are not excusable. But they are human. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I have a new appreciation for the hurt I dealt anyway. But the Lord fixed it. He fixed me, and He fixed the hearts I hurt. He can do it again - He'd like to.

By the end of the day, I was feeling much better. And I'd been able help to do and say things that started to bring healing to the situation that made us look for reasons to sing praises in the first place.

 

It's not just couples. It's relationships. And it doesn't have to be a hurt that grows out of a fight. But what happens after, that's what defines the future. It's the application of Grace that makes you grow stronger together. And there is absolutely no hurt too big for Christ. His Grace is sufficient. Sufficient for all hurts.

And that is something worth singing praises about!

This one is one of my favorites. Had us dancing all over the kitchen, and singing praises at the top of our lungs. 



Gloria in excelsis Deo. 

Singing Praises

My family is reading Ether chapter 6 for our family scripture study right now. They've built the barges, which were the "length of a tree." Even supposing that the trees were the huge sort of trees, that's still not all that big for an ocean crossing. They're dark inside, except for 2 small lights at either end. They're full of people, animals, and bees. We read about conditions in the boats tonight. The scriptures are a little light on the detail, but I got to thinking about what they do say, and what that might look like, to the families experiencing it. It's all pure conjecture, but this is what I thought about tonight.

Being tight "like a dish," there's no draining water that comes in if they open the hatch too soon; deal with the sloshing at least until the next time we come to the surface. Oh, and that bucket of last night's pee? Gonna have to hold on to that. Sorry about the smell. Put it with the dung from the animals. Don't bother the bees.

But that's not all. That's a "furious wind" that's making "mountain waves." Waves that crash on the boat and bury it in the deep until they want for air. You know, hypoxia. Fun stuff that. Headaches, nausea, vomiting. Maybe a seizure if things get really bad. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that they didn't die of it, but the scriptures don't say. Maybe some of them did, particularly the very old or very young. And then you'd add a smelly body of a loved one and grieving to the list of things going on in those boats, until you came to the surface again and could put it overboard. It says they cried unto the Lord when they needed to come up. I imagine they did! And he brought them up... into the teeth of the storm driving them.

But that's not all. They built eight barges and got in them. Pushed them into the sea and trusted they'd get there. Wherever there was. I imagined talking to Hero about it, rocking around, seasick, in the bottom of the barge, about day 3:

"How long till we get there?"
"I don't know."
"How far?"
"I don't know."
"Will Aunt Kate and Baby T be there when we get there?"
"I think so. The Lord will take care of them."
"Can I talk to them?"
"No. They're on another boat."
"When can I see them again?"
"I don't know. Getting there takes as long as it takes."
"What if they don't land in the same place as us?"

Turns out, the promised land was quite some distance away: took 344 days to get there. Seems reasonable to me to presume that for about 343 of those, they had no idea how many more days were going to pass before they got out of those boats. And it's not like they had good weather; the winds, which caused "great and terrible tempests" never stopped. For a year. And then there's that word in verse 4, when they're talking about what they ate: subsist.

Sounds like fun, right? Yeah. Hero didn't think so either when we talked about it tonight. I asked him what he thought the people felt about it, and he guessed they didn't like it. He predicted some complaining. So I read him what the scriptures say in verse six:

---

And they did sing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord.

---

I knew the story; I saw it coming. Hero was very surprised. Praises? But that's hard! Praises?? Even at night? All day long? Without ceasing?

By this point, my voice is shaking and I'm just fine with it when he says he's tired and falls asleep on me. But I'm not thinking about the Jaredites any more. I'm thinking about my Baby Girl.

I took this picture of her today.

Last Saturday I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Yesterday, I came home from the hospital without her. We left our daughter behind at the NICU. In pain. Stuck full of tubes and wires, some of which go deep into her body. Even when I visit, I can't hold her. My boys can't visit; it's flu season, and they're not allowing children in. We don't know how long she'll be there; it takes as long as it takes. It's hard.

Oh my goodness, this is hard.

The Lord's tender mercies are so apparent, even in the difficulties. Especially in the difficulties.

I need to be more careful to "sing praises." To say thank you to Him. And once I started thinking that way, I started seeing even more to be grateful for.

It makes it easier to bear, and that's huge.

Praise Ye the Lord

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.
-Psalms 113:9

This is one of my very favorite verses. I used to hold it as a promise, now, I look at it there on the side of my blog, right above the pictures of my children, and I am filled with amazement and gratitude. Through the long years of waiting, I cried over the stories of Hannah and Elizabeth and Sariah, and yearned for children. Now I have three little angles to hold. What a blessing. Praise seems like such a tame word for what I'm feeling.

Drama Made From Drips

I have 29 industrial fans in my home, and 2 super-capacity dehumidifiers. True, some of the fans are now turned off. But still. That's a whole heck of a lot of fans. They're noisy, and they make a lot of heat. It's about 99F upstairs this afternoon. And humid. Yep, that's where the bedrooms are, in case you were wondering. We decided that air mattresses and the living room couch were more palatable for the time being, and we're camping out in the living room.

You know, the industrial dry-the-carts-at-Walmart kind of fans.

The carpets are torn up upstairs, so the fans can be tucked under them. The pads in those areas are gone. The nice workers drilled some holes in our ceiling. That's so the wind can get in there and dry things off. My husband enjoys telling folks it looks like someone took a 50-cal anti-tank gun to out home. He's not far wrong.

The gray dots are the holes. There's tons of them.

What happened? Our 2nd floor sink was clogged & got left on a little while we were out for 11 1/2 hours on Friday afternoon. Things were damp completely soaked when we got home. Down the stairs, then through them and down the basement stairs too. Nearly every room in our home is affected. All those fans are using up all our home's capacity for powering things, so our AC is unplugged and our washer and dryer are out of commission, my microwave trips the circut breakers, and I haven't dared try the dishwasher.

But.

The living room was least affcted, so we have a flat, dry spot, large enough to sleep the whole family. And it's got the best windows and the best circulation in the house.

Speaking of circulation, it's been unseasonably cool this weekend, so the air our little box fan is pumping into the living room is not only cooler than than the indoor sauna this has created, it's cooler than what we would have set the AC to. So the living room and computer room are pretty bearable to be in.

Speaking of the weather, it's been rainy, so we haven't needed to think about the garden. But not so rainy that we couldn't get outside for the boys to play in the only "normal" area on our property: the yard.

With all that water, which was in nearly every room in our house, we didn't loose any personal items. Not.One.Thing. Not the books on the bookshelves, not the scrapbooks placed on the top of bookshelves located directly under the upstairs bathrom's sink in my main floor music room. Not the stuff in the boxes under the stairs (though most of those boxes are trashed, the stuff inside was no more than damp). Not the pictures on the walls. Nothing. Only the house is damaged. I find that simply miraculous.

This process is proving to be massively inconvenient. Massively. But that's all. I feel so blessed. And I'm trying so hard to appreciate the blessings and stay cheerful. Wish me luck on that - I'm pretty short on sleep. But still. How can I be too upset when the hand of the Lord is so clearly evident?

Thankful

Sunday Scripture

Sing unto the Lord; for he hat done excellent things: this is known in all the earth.

Cry and shout, thou inhabitant of Zion: for great is the Holy One of Israel in the midst of thee.
-Isaiah 12:5-6