Death and Rebirth: Easter Ponderings

So, Palm Sunday I didn't feel well. Actually, for several days before that I wasn't feeling very good: stress headaches, migraines, insomnia followed by nightmares... my emotions clearly had the upper hand, and I was quietly freaking right out, which is not my norm; my best friend once laughingly observed that I tend to be "a drama-free zone". And I do try. But last week I had drama enough that it made me ill.

So Palm Sunday. One of the things about a lay clergy is that sometimes everything is beautiful and perfect, and other times we get to exercise charity and patience. Don't get me wrong; the talks were excellent: one even successfully managed to relate fishing for eel in New Zealand rivers to following the prophet and the Lord; outstanding talk, the kind that people will remember and benefit from for a long time. But every speaker overlooked that it was Palm Sunday; it wasn't mentioned until the classes after Sacrament Meeting. And I was so hungry for a deep dive into the Atonement of Christ; I needed His healing: it had been a tough week --and the next day I was going to dig up my basement.

It felt like breaking my sanctuary: if life is like tag, my home is "safe". Only, it didn't feel very "safe" anymore. It felt broken. That's what I would tell people: "We're breaking the basement."

"I hope your week is less interesting than mine," I said to the guy at the rental place where we got the concrete saw and the mini jackhammer they called a "breaker" (that saw was HUGE). And he laughed, which was the intended effect. But I was whistling in the dark: it wasn't really funny to me. I was trying to put the best face on something that pulled me way out of my comfort zone.

#PrinceOfPeace: Scripture

I don't remember the question anymore, but I remember what my Dad told me: the answers to the important questions are in the scriptures. Go to the scriptures. It may take time to find them, but I don't have wait for someone else to answers and show them to me: I can go to them myself, and I can search out the answers to the questions that are important to me.

This changed my life.

Up to that point, I'd been rather passive, waiting for someone to tell me what is in the scriptures. Partly, this was because I was young: it's not unexpected for a child to rely on her trusted adults to teach her. But my dad taught me to act, rather than waiting for someone else to do it for me. He taught me that my questions are important enough for the Lord to answer them. That conversation taught me that I am strong enough to seek my own answers, capable enough (even though I was young at the time) to understand what the scriptures say and what the Holy Ghost teaches.

He was also teaching me the value of scripture itself; I don't think that you can overstate the value of scripture.

Studying history with my kids, one of the things I've learned more about is the heroes and martyrs of the Reformation. Some of them are names known to many - William Tyndale, for instance, who did the first translation of the Bible into English, and was martyred for his work. Other names are not so famous: many common people sacrificed to possess even a few pages of Tyndale's translation -- and some of them died for their sacrifice. I found myself wondering: would I have been willing to take their risks, to make their sacrifices, to pay their cost, in order to have the scriptures? We live in a time and place where scripture is inexpensive or free, and plentiful. We have copies in our home for all of the members of the family, in as many languages as we care to have, both print copies, searchable electronic copies, and audio copies. We mark and use up our books, and then we replace them. And we do it all without fear.

It is a luxury that our forefathers could not have imagined.



Since that conversation with my Dad I've grown up, moved out, and I've got a family of my own. I've turned to the scriptures to try to find comfort in grief, strength to get through challenges, and wisdom to know how to try to help others. In the pages of my scriptures I've learned to find the Lord's love for me.

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Verily I say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks...
-Doctrine and Covenants 98:1

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In the scriptures, I've learned that the joy promised to the Lord's people is not some dim, distant future thing, but can be joy in the present tense, joy in the mist of trial, joy that comes from knowing God's love, and feeling the reality of the Lord's tender mercies.

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But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee. For thou, Lord, will bless the righteous; with favor wilt thou compass him as with a shield.
-Psalm 5:11-12

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Now it's my turn to teach my own children to love the scriptures, to turn to the Lord, and to search His words for the answers to the difficult questions they do and will face. It's my job to let them see me search the scriptures, and working to conform my life to the things they teach: regardless of the cost.

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It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word which proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
-Matthew 4:3

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#PrinceOfPeace: Gratitude

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And ye must give thanks unto God in the Spirit for whatsoever blessing ye are blessed with.
-Doctrine and Covenants 46:32

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It had somehow escaped my attention that gratitude is a commandment. I knew that it's an important virtue. I knew that we could offend God with a lack of gratitude. But I'd never really pondered it as a commandment. But it's not a vindictive, self-aggrandizing kind of commandment. 

"I worked hard to provide them, so you'll eat your beets, and you'll be grateful. Or else!"

It isn't like that; that kind of attitude behind the commandment would be inconsistent with the nature of God: God's love is so perfect that the scriptures tell us God is love, and we also read that love is not overly concerned with itself -- a loving God (or a loving person) seeketh not their own.

The commandments, being given from a place of love, are actually for our benefit -- much the same way that the rules that I impose on my kids (eat your vegetables, don't run in the street, you must learn to read) are designed to keep my kids happy and safe. God being our Father, His rules are like that, too: designed to keep us happy and safe. That's why Nephi, after he arranged for his people to be taught God's laws, described their lifestyle as living after the manner of happiness. Including the commandment to be grateful.

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If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues. Someone has said that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”
-President Thomas S. Monson (quoting Cicero), The Divine Gift of Gratitude

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Gratitude then, if it really is the key to all the other virtues, is the small and simple thing, the tiny hinge on which our lives can turn, as we seek to obey the injunction to be like Christ.




I think that gratitude to Christ, Himself, is particularly important in our quest to be all He says we can be. A while back, I heard a story that illustrates how gratitude can be the key, not only to the development of our character, but to the ability to find joy in the dark places. The story comes out of the deep darkness of the Nazi concentration camps:

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There is a book that I have always remembered since I first read it many years ago. I feel it illustrates the scripture found in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, which reads, “In every thing give thanks.” Many of you may be acquainted with Corrie ten Boom’s book entitled The Hiding Place. It is the true story of two Dutch women who were imprisoned during World War II for harboring Jewish refugees. Its message bears reminding.

Corrie and Betsie ten Boom lived by the precepts of Christ and found great comfort in reading the Bible. Their prison barracks were dimly lit, dirty, foul smelling, crowded, and constantly patrolled by guards. Corrie was put into a cell with her sister, which was a blessing for them both. Her constant worry was that the guards would see their Bible and take it away, since it was a great source of hope and comfort to them.

The place was so infested with fleas that the sisters could not move without instantly being covered with the bugs. They were very familiar with scriptures concerning gratitude and thankfulness in the Bible. Betsie told Corrie that they should thank God for the fleas. Corrie wasn’t sure she could do this, but she and Betsie bowed their heads and thanked God even for the fleas.

Weeks later Corrie was struck by the blessing that came from her obedience to thank God in all circumstances. Betsie had heard a supervisor say she wouldn’t step through the door of their cell because of all the fleas, and neither would the guards. It was because of the fleas that they were able to continue to keep their Bible without the guards finding it. They were also able to hold worship meetings and share Christ’s message with other prisoners. God asks us to give thanks even when there may seem to be little for which to be thankful. 
-Sharon G. Samuelson, Gratitude -- A Commandment of God

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This example, their gratitude for even fleas, and the eyes that it gave them to see the hand of the Lord in their lives, even in those terribly trying circumstances, has been a lesson that stayed with me. And when I remember to give thanks for my own "fleas" - whatever the current trial is - I find that the situation feels less overwhelming. I am more calm when I use gratitude to bolster my trust and faith in the Lord. I am less susceptible to discouragement and depression and fear. Looking for the bright side, the silver lining (no matter how small), and then remembering to give thanks for it, helps me to keep my balance when the load is heavy, the days are long, and there's no end to the trial in sight.

And that is something to be grateful for.

On Classical Education: Ordered Affections

This post is part of a series:

Character is the True Aim
Cultivation of Godly Character
What is a Student? 
Make Haste Slowly
Much Not Many
Ordered Affections (this post)
Repetition is the Mother of Memory
Repetition and the Habit of Attention
Embodied Learning (part 1)
Embodied Learning (part 2)Songs Chants and Jingles
Wonder and Curiosity
Educational Virtues
Contemplation
By Teaching We Learn
Classical Education is Like a Table



I am intrigued by this idea of "ordered affections." It comes up again and again in the writings of people who know Classical Education well, and it's a beautiful fit, doctrinally. But it's not something that I've really heard explicitly discussed often: it's the idea that there is a correct order or priority to not just the things that we love, but the activities we do, and really, to every part of our lives.

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 "St. Augustine defines virtue as ordo amoris, the ordinate condition of the affections in which every object is accorded that kind and degree of love which is appropriate to it."
-C.S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man

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Certainly, there is plenty of talk about priorities, but I've always thought of that as a sort of to-do list, where it's important to get the right things at the top of the list. This concept of "ordered affections" is more, it's more nuanced, and less concerned with the outer actions of the to-do list, and more with the inward motivations, in educating the inward heart. I like that. And, being educators, the people I've been reading and listening to have quite a bit to say about what ought to be done about it, in terms of helping our children to order their own affections correctly. That quote from C.S. Lewis comes up again and again, which makes me want to find a copy of The Abolition of Man:

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"St. Augustine defines virtue as ordo amoris, the ordinate condition of the affections in which every object is accorded that kind and degree of love which is appropriate to it. Aristotle says that the aim of education is to make the pupil like and dislike what he ought. The little human animal will not, at first, have the right responses. It must be trained to feel pleasure, liking, disgust, and hatred at those things which really are pleasant, likable, disgusting, and hateful."
-C.S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man

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Part of me wants to recoil from the idea of teaching that things are hateful, but then I remember what Alma said, and I think it's not so bad to teach this, after all:

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Now they, after being sanctified by the Holy Ghost, having their garments made white, being pure and spotless before God, could not look upon sin save it were with abhorrence; and there were many, exceedingly great many, who were made pure and entered into the rest of the Lord their God.
-Alma 13:12, emphasis added

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Setting my children's feet on a path toward the Lord's rest is exactly what I am trying to do in my parenting -- including in our educational choices. There is this about Christ's attitudes toward this concept, as well, from Dr. Perrin:

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Jesus often signals an ordo amoris, telling the rich, young ruler there is one thing he lacks (Matt. 19) and telling Martha that though she is busy about many things, Mary has chosen what is best: to converse with him rather than prepare dinner (Luke 10). When Jesus is asked what the greatest commandment is, he responds that there are two: to love God with your whole heart and to love your neighbor as yourself (Matt. 22). Jesus seems to believe that there is a divinely ordered hierarchy of loves and pleasures.
-Christopher Perrin, I Would Like to Order... an Education

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Classical Christian Education asserts that there are objective standards of Truth, objective standards of Goodness, and objective standards of Beauty, and further says that we have a duty to instruct our children in these standards, as Lewis said, "to feel pleasure, liking, disgust, and hatred at those things which really are pleasant, likable, disgusting, and hateful." Putting character at the heart of education, re-enthroning it as the true aim of education, and then really acting as if that (and not a generous adult income) is the main priority requires a whole different way of thinking about what we do and why we are doing it. It's a completely different paradigm from wanting to create "college readiness": it's more that just knowing the facts and skills that typically lead to a good income. It's that and also having the wisdom to know that there is more to life than a career, the wisdom to recognize the reality that we are the children of God and behave in a way that befits that kind of heritage: to become more fully human.

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We have this desire to give our kids what we call an academically "rigorous" education. Andrew Kern and Christopher Perrin both taught me a bit about that. ... I asked them how we could pursue a rigorous education while retaining a sense of rest. What I didn't realize at the time was that the word "rigor" comes from the Latin rigor, rigoris, which means "numbness,stiffness, hardness, firmness, roughness, rudeness." Rigor mortis literally means "the stiffness of death," which I think we can all agree is not the goal of homeschooling our children!

Don't aim for rigorous education, Kern and Perrin both told me. If we are aiming to order our children's affections, learn to love what is lovely, join in the great conversation, and cultivate a soul so that the person is ready in every sense of the word to take on the challenges around the corner and on the other side of the college entrance exams; work toward "diligence" instead.

"Diligence" come from the Latin diligere, which means to "single out, value highly, esteem, prize, love; aspire to, take delight in, appreciate." What we are really aiming for in giving our children a rigorous education is not just doing hard things, but cultivating a habit of focused attention. The word "student" comes from the Latin studium, meaning "Zeal, affection, eagerness." A diligent student, then, takes delight, eagerly and with great zeal, in what he loves.
-Sarah Mackenzie, Teaching From Rest, 4-5

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In addition to doctrinal and philosophical reasons to consider the concept of ordering our affections, there are some compelling practical reasons, too. All education is self-education: it doesn't matter how good the teaching is, if the student does not engage, then no learning happens. Genuine education requires active choice on the part of the learner.

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“Learning can only happen when a child is interested. If he’s not interested, it’s like throwing marshmallows at his head and calling it eating.”
-Katrina Gutleben

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As we come to prize the good, the true, and the beautiful, then we become hungry, curious, and the love of learning ignites. We need to help our children acquire studium, so that they can become real students, rather than just being officially "in school".

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“The question is not, -- how much does the youth know? when he has finished his education -- but how much does he care? and about how many orders of things does he care? In fact, how large is the room in which he finds his feet set? and, therefore, how full is the life he has before him?”
-Charlotte Mason

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But in this process, we can't behave haphazardly and expect it to create order. The process of bridling our passions is something that needs to be happening in both teachers and children. The Psalmist talks about learning to bridle our mouth, and Alma speaks more broadly about bridling our passions. In the Church, we often talk about this in terms of bridling sexual passions, but I think that I prefer the broader definition of passions in that it's things and topics and activities that we enjoy and become passionate about, to one degree or another. This concept includes, but is not limited to, sexual passions. And in this context, we want to put God at the apex, making Him the thing that we are most passionate about - that we love the most - and that we are teaching our children to love the most as well. This process of ordering our passions will require self-discipline. In homeschool, this requires planning, rather than just strewing opportunities and hoping for the best. It means that sometimes we pass on this, because that is a better choice.

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Is self-denial wise because there is something wrong with our passions, or because there is something right with our passions? Alma taught his son: “See that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love.” (Alma 38:12; emphasis added.) He did not say we should suppress or eliminate our passions but rather bridle them—harness, channel, and focus them. Why? Because disciplining our passions makes possible a richer, deeper love.
-Bruce & Marie Hafen, Bridle All Your Passions

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When we correctly order our affections, we can give them our best, and receive from them the best they have to offer. By putting things in their proper place, we can most fully learn to love learning, and gain the best returns from the effort that we put into education.

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Knowledge of truth, combined with proper regard for it, and its faithful observance, constitutes true education. The mere stuffing of the mind with a knowledge of facts is not education. The mind must not only possess a knowledge of truth, but the soul must revere it, cherish it, love it as a priceless gem. 
-Joseph F. Smith

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What Did You Give Up?

I recently read the conversion story of a woman, a liberal university professor living in a lesbian relationship, and a little bit of her journey as she made the dramatic changes to align her life with the Truth she discovered in the Bible. It's a remarkable story, and I find myself wondering if I exemplify Christian love as well as the church she found does. There's a lot of food for thought in the story.

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 I had some really burning questions for people. I would go up to my homeschool mom friends, and say “Look, I have to give up the girlfriend: What did you have to give up to be here?” I heard amazing things that made me realize I did not have any more to give up than anyone else. I learned there were other people in my church who struggled with sexual sin, with lust, with faithlessness … and they told me that! They took the risk of no longer looking all cleaned up to me.

-Journey of Grace

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What an amazing question. What did you give up? 

My initial reaction was that I haven't given up much. I was born into a family that's been strong in the church for generations. Nobody disowned me when I got baptized; Mom made me a beautiful pink dress (probably the last pink dress I ever owned), floor length, with a sweetheart neckline and this amazing satiny fabric. I was in Little Girl Heaven, and not thinking of sacrifice at all. There were cookies and out of town relatives all smiling proudly.

But later, when the dress and the cookies were done, the work began.

 There was mockery and ostracism at school. 

There was that young man I chose not to date because he did not share my beliefs. 

There was that time when, after I passed the audition, I found that rehearsal was on Sundays and Wednesdays, and conflicted with every church meeting. I can still sing several of the songs, even though I only went twice. 

There was prioritizing marriage over study abroad in Japan in college, and trips to Japan that I skip now because I put my children's needs -my role as a mother- before my martial arts practice and dreams of travel. 

There are homeschool groups I cannot join, opportunities my children are barred from, because we are the "wrong" sort of Christians. 

Job opportunities and other activities our family has walked away from because they demanded Sabbath work. 

There are days and weeks and months and years spent at home, rather than on career, travel, adventure vacations, and so on. 

Once I start thinking about it, there's a fair amount of sacrifice. But it doesn't usually feel that way. Once it did. In junior high school, when I was a pariah, and nobody would talk to me except to mock me, and I wasn't certain of my conversion, when all I saw was stacks and stacks of rules, Thou Shalt Not, but I had not yet discovered why God's plan is called the Plan of Happiness... I'm not so different from the rich young ruler; I was being good, but I couldn't see where it was all headed, either. And we don't know how his story ends; there's no knowing if he came around again later.

Eventually I realized that there are 1001 reasons why we call it the Plan of Happiness; gradually the glimpses of what He is trying to do with my life started to feel real. Things are still hard. They're hard right now, and adherence to the faith is a major factor in what's going on. But there is immense joy in the journey, and satisfaction in the service, too. There is deep satisfaction in knowing that you have done your level best to do God's will - and that He knows it, too. My efforts to give up all I have and come follow Him are still imperfect - but He knows that I am giving it my very best. Effort counts. Intent matters.

When I stack things up and count the blessings and the cost, I find that I have been richly rewarded for the sacrifice. This was the phrase that came to mind:

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...it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over...

-Luke 6:38

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There's another important thing she says in that paragraph:

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I learned there were other people in my church who struggled with sexual sin, with lust, with faithlessness … and they told me that! They took the risk of no longer looking all cleaned up to me.

-Journey of Grace, emphasis added

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I think this is important, but it's so, so hard. It's hard to be vulnerable to judgement, to risk revisiting painful episodes, to know how to deal with talking about problems that involve other people without being gossipy, to risk exposing the messy, broken parts of ourselves. We have to be kind and gentle when those around us are not looking "all cleaned up". There's a lot of sensitivity to the Spirit that needs to be had in having this kind of conversation. But look at the fruits that it bore for this church and their new friends, when they had the courage to allow a peek past the cleaned up parts: look at the understanding they were all able to develop, the bridges they became -I love the quote, “You are a bridge, and bridges get walked on.” There's so much truth in that. It's not easy. She talks about how the conversion process creates "comprehensive chaos", and I think she's right. And not just at the outset; conversion is an ongoing thing; we can never stop trying to become better, more Christlike, and the process continues, upending things we thought were solid. Sacrifice is a process of sanctification at any point on the path, not just at the beginning of our journey with Christ.

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Let us here observe, that a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things, never has power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation; for from the first existence of man, the faith necessary unto the enjoyment of life and salvation never could be obtained without the sacrifice of all earthly things: it was through this sacrifice, and this only, that God has ordained that men should enjoy eternal life; and it is through the medium of the sacrifice of all earthly things, that men do actually know that they are doing the things that are well pleasing in the sight of God. When a man has offered in sacrifice all that he has, for the truth's sake, not even withholding his life, and believing before God that he has been called to make this sacrifice, because he seeks to do his will, he does know most assuredly, that God does and will accept his sacrifice and offering, and that he has not nor will not seek his face in vain. Under these circumstances, then, he can obtain the faith necessary for him to lay hold on eternal life.
-Joseph Smith, Lectures on Faith 6:7

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So, what did you give up?

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And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.

-Luke 9:23-24

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An Example of the Believers (part 1)

At the most recent General Conference, I was really struck by President Monson's Sunday Morning talk, "Be An Example and a Light." He took two New Testament scriptures and made them the basis of his remarks: Matthew 5:16, where the Savior commands us to let our lights shine before men, and also 1 Timothy 4:12:

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...but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

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I set this up as my first verse to ponderize, but when the first week was done, even though I picked a new verse, I found my thoughts drawn back to this verse. Our prophet struggled through his physical weakness so he could use this verse to teach us. That made a deep impression on me. So I'm spending some quality time studying and pondering this verse. It's not the first time President Monson has used this pair of verses; he also used these same two passages last October in the Priesthood session. Ten years ago this verse provided the title and theme for his remarks to the women of the church. In the time between, the Lord lead other speakers to use this verse nineteen times. I think it is safe to conclude that the Lord considers the message of this verse to be an important one for us to hear. So what is it about? There are six attributes listed. I thought it would be good to go through each of them, and spend some time on each attribute.

In Word

According to Strong's Concordance, word here comes from the Greek logos, which means something said, including thoughts; it's the reasoning and motive. 

We should be an example of the believers in the things we say, but the Lord, as always, is as much or more concerned with the inward parts; we should be an example of the believers in our thoughts, or reasoning, and our motives as well as in what we permit to actually come out of our mouths. It's not enough to say the right things; He wants us to say correct things for correct reasons. 

President Monson said:

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Let us speak to others with love and respect, ever keeping our language clean and avoiding words or comments that would wound or offend. May we follow the example of the Savior, who spoke with tolerance and kindness throughout His ministry.

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In Conversation

Strong's says that, in the Bible, when they talk about "conversation" they're actually talking about behavior, about the way we live our lives. It's our deportment; the way we conduct ourselves. That's so much more than just what happens when we exchange a few words chatting with someone. Even a lengthy chat.

Brigham Young said,

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Kind looks, kind actions, kind words, and a lovely, holy deportment towards [children] will bind our children to us with bands that cannot easily be broken; while abuse and unkindness will drive them from us, and break asunder every holy tie, that should bind them to us and to the everlasting covenant in which we are all embraced. If my family … will not be obedient to me on the basis of kindness, and a commendable life before all men, and before the heavens, then farewell to all influence (Teachings, chapter 23).

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That's the kind of "conversation" - our actions, words, and deportment towards others - that President Monson was recommending to us when he talked about modeling our lives the way that this verse suggests. Brother Brigham was speaking specifically about family, but there is no limitation on the verse from Paul - we should be an example of the believers in our conversation. Full stop. No exceptions.


In Charity

Charity is a fascinating thing. It really could have it's own series of posts. Charity is an important ingredient in unity - which we are commanded to have in our families, and in the church. Ultimately, we'll need it in the whole world. When asked what is the greatest commandment, Christ talked about love. Charity is a gift of love – of being able to love, to understand, even the most difficult of people. And, it is a Gift of the Spirit we are commanded to seek. Study charity in the scriptures. Pray for it. Practice it, and we will begin to have it in greater measure. And, perhaps even more importantly, we will begin to know the Lord better.

According to Strong's Concordance, the word "charity" appears in the New Testament 28 times. Almost half of them come from Paul's first letter to the Corinthians, where he famously discusses what charity is all about, and how critical it is for us to find it. In each case, the Greek word that became "charity" is agape. This is a word that appeared frequently in the Greek New Testament: more than a hundred times. This is, perhaps, not surprising, since the Two Great Commandments hinge on love. Christ said that the hallmark of discipleship is love.

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Love is a difficult word to understand in the English language. For example, I could say to someone that “I love you.” ... We need to know who is speaking to whom in what context. The Greeks don’t have the same problem because they have three different words for love. The first is eros, or romantic love. The English word erotic comes from that Greek root. The second is philia, or brotherly love. The U.S. “City of Brotherly Love,” Philadelphia, gets its name from that Greek root. The third is agape, or Godlike love, the kind of love that enables our Father in Heaven and the Lord to love us even though we are not perfect. I understand that each time in the Greek text of the New Testament when the Lord commands us to love our enemies, it is agape that is used. Here is a very important point for all of us to remember. If we want to cultivate spirituality, we should love everyone at the levels of agape or philia...

-Elder Joe J. Christensen, Ten Ideas to Increase Your Spirituality

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I believe that the hallmark of discipleship is love (specifically this agape-love) because we are trying to learn to become like our Father. To be like Him, we must be motivated by what motivates Him, and the motivation that drives what He does is love for His children. To the extent that we do become like Him, we will be so much the better able to love like He loves. And there is so much need for that kind of love in this world.

President Monson, in his Sunday morning talk, said:

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The next attribute mentioned by Paul is charity, which has been defined as “the pure love of Christ. I am confident there are within our sphere of influence those who are lonely, those who are ill, and those who feel discouraged. Ours is the opportunity to help them and to lift their spirits. The Savior brought hope to the hopeless and strength to the weak. He healed the sick; He caused the lame to walk, the blind to see, the deaf to hear. He even raised the dead to life. Throughout His ministry He reached out in charity to any in need. As we emulate His example, we will bless lives, including our own.

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Charity will heal the world's hurts. It will make us more like Him.

Part 2 is here.

Send Me

Doing surgery on a zebra that has sprung a leak was not on the list of things I anticipated that I'd do when I became a mother, but my two year old daughter is so delighted when her zebra is "all better". I'm delighted too; her delight makes me grateful to be at home to do these "inconsequential" things. Because I don't believe that they're inconsequential at all; I am building a relationship with my daughter. The zebra is just one of many moments where she learns that her mom is there for her.

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"Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. ... Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children."
-The Family: A Proclamation

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It's a big job, Mothering, and there are a whole lot of things that look inconsequential, when viewed individually. But, for my daughter, the two minutes I spent fixing her toy (rather than throwing it away because it's broken) are a BIG DEAL. Nurturing, Mothering, in many ways they are more than the sum of their parts. It's one of those places where the Lord takes the small and the simple, and magnifies it for His great works. Doing His work means that I spend my days doing small, simple things. Things that, taken individually, don't look like much. Any single moment, any single day, probably isn't going to look very significant. But looks can be deceiving.


Read the rest at We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ.

Mormon Bible Study: The Great Commandment

Probably one of the best known scriptures in the New Testament is found in Matthew:

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36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.
Matthew 22:36-38

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These three verses were the focus of the whole lesson in Relief Society last week. It was my first week back in Relief Society after about four years wandering the halls with disruptive children. It was a fantastic first lesson back to class. The "teacher helps" at the end of the lesson had this to say:

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"Be sure you don't believe that you are the 'true teacher.' That is a serious mistake. ... Be careful you do not get in the way. The major role of a teacher is to prepare the way such that the people will have a spiritual experience with the Lord."

-Gene R. Cook

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The teacher, a very good friend of mine, did a really good job with that, and the Spirit taught me some awesome stuff. First, I had a look at a cross reference to Deuteronomy, and realized that this wasn't just a stroke of brilliance He had on the spot; this was drawing from a passage of scripture that was incredibly well known. It's so well known that in modern Judaism, it's the beginning of a prayer called the Shema, and devout Jews recite it twice daily.

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4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord:

5 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:

7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9

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The Lord pointed them to the basic, the fundamental, the ordinary, and said it was the most important. But it was such a common answer. The proverbial "Sunday School Answer." I have noticed that while we sometimes feel like they're trite, the Sunday School Answers are actually profound. And so it was this time. Love God. Love God with everything you have got. That's the crux. In every time, at every place, in every thing, Love God. That's what verse seven is describing. When you're sitting in your house, when you're traveling around, waking and sleeping, these things are supposed to be on your mind. This was so important that they were to wear these verses, written down and tied to their body, reminding them to write the principle in their hearts. And in case that wasn't enough, they should also put them on the gate of the house- the entrance, where they will be always visible, helping them to always remember: Love God. 

The Relief Society lesson put President Benson's explanation for why this is so important that they should go to such lengths to remember it right there at the top of the page, in big letters:

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“When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives.”

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Interestingly, the lesson spends a good chunk of time talking about charity. I spent a few minutes pondering this, because it surprised me, but as I did so, it seemed very right. We don't talk about it much, perhaps because it is so easy to focus on Christ's obvious love for us, but His love of the Father is no less profound. Charity -the pure love of Christ- includes His love of God. His life story is the story of perfect love for and submission to His Father. In this type of charity, as in all else, He set the pattern.

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To love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength is all-consuming and all-encompassing. It is no lukewarm endeavor. It is total commitment of our very being--physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually--to a love of the Lord. The breadth, depth, and height of this love of God extend into every facet of one’s life. Our desires, be they spiritual or temporal, should be rooted in a love of the Lord. Our thoughts and affections should be centered on the Lord. “Let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord,” said Alma, “yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever” (Alma 37:36).

-Ezra Taft Benson

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But how do you do it? How do you get there? The Lord showed us that too.

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"In word and in deed Jesus was trying to reveal and make personal to us the true nature of His Father, our Father in Heaven. He did this at least in part because then and now all of us need to know God more fully in order to love Him more deeply and obey Him more completely. As both Old and New Testaments declare, “The first of all the commandments is … thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first [and great] commandment. Little wonder then that the Prophet Joseph Smith taught: “It is the first principle of the gospel to know for a certainty the character of God.” “I want you all to know Him,” he said, “and to be familiar with Him. We must have “a correct idea of his … perfections, and attributes,” an admiration for “the excellency of [His] character."
-Jeffrey R. Holland, The Grandeur of God

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It's the first, the greatest, the most fundamental of the commandments. It is the root of our strength. It should shape every thought, every action, every moment.

Love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. 

Everything.

Trusting Him with Our Hurts

We read in Alma 5 how Alma asked the members of the Church in his day a number of searching questions, including:

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Have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received His image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change of heart?” (Alma 5:14)

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I’ve read this many times, but my own answer hasn’t always been a resounding, “YES.” I have often wondered, “How does one come to know Christ?” You can come to know about him by reading the scriptures and learning the stories in them. But knowing stories is not the same as knowing Christ. I was thinking about this, and I started to ponder, “How to you get to know anybody?” I started to think about my friend, B., and her family. I met her not long after I moved to the area, and I knew a few things about her, but I didn’t really start to get to know her until we served in the Primary together, and each week we’d chat, and she’d flirt with my baby. I realized, as I was thinking about this, that it was spending time with her, first in our callings, and then socially, that really began our friendship. After a while, we started to do other things as well. We had dinner together. We did service projects. They helped us, and we helped them. The friendship grew through time and shared experience.

The process of getting to know the Lord is much the same; we start to get to know him by spending time with him. Nephi said, “I, Nephi, did go into the mount oft, and I did pray oft unto the Lord; wherefore the Lord showed unto me great things.” (1 Nephi 17:3) Prayer is the process by which we have conversations with the Lord. When we want to pick up the phone and talk to Him, prayer is how we do it.

Shared experience begins to accumulate when we do things with our friends. We gain shared experiences with the Lord when we do what He does. This is following His example. But it’s also trying to see people the way He sees them: developing real charity, which is so much more than giving money. It is a gift of love – of being able to love, to understand, even the most difficult of people. And, it is a Gift of the Spirit we are commanded to seek. Study charity in the scriptures. Pray for it. And practice it, and you will begin to have it in greater measure. And, you will begin to know the Lord better.

As we do these things, we will find a change taking place within ourselves. We will become more like Him! We will come to know Him better, and better. We will discover that He knows just what we need. We will learn that you can trust him with your hurts!

Christ is the Great Physician – He knows what you need. He will, however, often wait for your permission to help you. The path to perfection is a path of healing. In Conference, last October, Elder Timothy J. Dyches taught:

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Jesus Christ heals body, mind, and spirit, and His healing begins with faith. Do you remember when your faith and joy were full to the brim? Remember the moment you found your testimony or when God confirmed to you that you were His son or daughter and that He loved you very much—and you felt whole? If that time seems lost, it can be found again. The Savior counsels us on how to be made whole—to be complete or become healed: "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28–30) Come, follow me (Luke 18:22) invites us to leave behind the old life and worldly desires and become a new creature for whom "old things are passed away [and] all things are become new," even with a new, faithful heart. And we are made whole again. "Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you" As we draw near to Him, we realize that mortality is meant to be difficult and that "opposition in all things" (2 Nephi 2:11) is not a flaw in the plan of salvation. Opposition, rather, is the indispensable element of mortality and strengthens our will and refines our choices. The vicissitudes of life help us fashion an eternal relationship with God—and engrave His image upon our countenance as we yield our hearts to Him (Alma 5:19)

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Life is hard. At one day old, Tigress was admitted to the NICU with a collapsed lung and pneumonia, the first thing they did was to ask me to leave so they could place an IV. It needed to go into her belly button, and apparently the process of getting it in is very unpleasant. Later, she also had a chest tube placed. These procedures were done with very little medications because there is so little that can safely be given to someone so tiny: although she was full-term and the birth was uncomplicated, she was not quite 6 pounds and very ill. The NICU was difficult for all of us.

Life is hard, right from the start. We often joke about how little babies "have it made," but I no longer believe that to be the case. Even if you don’t start in the NICU, you begin completely helpless, unable to help yourself with the least little thing, or even to say what it is that’s bothering you! The process of learning to communicate even the most basic of needs and wants is a lengthy one, taking years, and until then, our little ones are completely dependent upon our ability to correctly read the situation and guess what it is that they want. Hard times are part of life. We all have need of the healing that Christ offers. Again from Elder Dyches:

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President Thomas S. Monson has said, "There is one life that sustains those who are troubled or beset with sorrow and grief—even the Lord Jesus Christ." If you feel unclean, unloved, unhappy, unworthy, or unwhole, remember "all that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ." Have faith and patience in the Savior’s timing and purposes for you. "Be not afraid, only believe" (Mark 5:36) Be assured the Savior still seeks to mend our souls and heal our hearts. He waits at the door and knocks. Let us answer by beginning again to pray, repent, forgive, and forget. Let us love God and serve our neighbor and stand in holy places with a life made clean. The impotent man at the pool of Bethesda, the leper along the journey to Jerusalem, and [others] were made whole. "Wilt thou be made whole?" Rise and walk. His "grace is sufficient" (2 Corinthians 12:9), and you will not walk alone.

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Our healing begins with faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Our faith grows as we read Christ’s words, we practice His virtues, we seek His help. And all these things work together to create a mighty change in us. We will come to feel the same things that the Old King felt when he said to Aaron, "...if thou art God, wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee, and that I may be raised from the dead, and be saved at the last day." (Alma 22:18) Giving away all our sins is the only way that we can come to know God. He stands ready. If we will trust Him with our hurts, He will care for us as only He can.

Helping the Poor

I saw a bumper sticker very much like this today. The one I saw actually added a word, so it said:

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Liberal:

When did helping the poor become a sin?

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It made me sad, because it speaks to a divide that doesn't need to exist. Obviously, helping the poor, in and of itself, is not sin. Americans, both Liberal and Conservative, are often giving and generous people. Members of both groups often care deeply about those less fortunate than themselves, yet to listen to our political debate one might come to the conclusion that some, particularly Conservatives, don't care at all about the poor. I know that as a constitutional originalist I have been told that I clearly don't care what happens to the poor. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I simply don't think that charitable works fall into the proper role of government, so I oppose governmental "charity" whenever it come up. I believe that charitable work is, in every case, the exclusive domain of the private sector. The reasoning behind this belief is all in the funding. Let me explain.

Government produces nothing. Any funds the government has come from taxation - that is, from taking money from the individual citizens. The money is taken regardless of the condition it leaves the citizen and their family in, regardless of the individual's opinion on the matter. You know the old saying: "Nothing is sure but death and taxes." So, anything we spend tax money on must be clearly justified, in all cases, before we take that money from its rightful owners.

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I believe we Americans should use extreme care before lending our support to any proposed government program. We should fully recognize that government is no plaything. As George Washington warned, “Government is not reason, it is not eloquence – it is force! Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master!” (The Red Carpet, p.142) It is an instrument of force and unless our conscience is clear that we would not hesitate to put a man to death, put him in jail or forcibly deprive him of his property for failing to obey a given law, we should oppose it.
-Ezra Taft Benson, Proper Role of Government

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I like to test the programs by putting myself in the place of the recipient, and my widowed neighbor lady in the position of the taxed "donor." Could I make her pay my children's medical bills, buy my groceries, pay my mortgage or bail out my failing business? Would I be justified in sending her to prison, garnishing her wages, or otherwise penalizing her for refusal? Of course not. If I do that as a private citizen, it's called theft. If I get my government to do it for me, it's called Legalized Plunder. In both cases it's clearly morally wrong.

Legalized Plunder - or governmental "charity" - is also unconstitutional. James Madison, also known as the Father of the Constitution, said this about it:

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"I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents."

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None of this implies that there is not a need to assist those less fortunate; only that the government is not a moral means of doing so. Clearly for Christians there is a religious imperative to assist wherever and whenever we have the ability.

But even were it moral for government to assist with charitable works, I would still oppose it. The inefficiency and corruption of government is legendary. They hardly qualify as a well-run, effective charitable organization! Eliminating governmental "charity" would dramatically reduce the tax burden. With that money, one of the things my husband and I would do is increase our charitable donations - to charities of our choosing. Rather than being forced to contribute to Planned Parenthood, an organization that I despise, I would give to my faith's Perpetual Education Fund, or the Humanitarian Aid Fund. In order to help on a more local level, we would give a larger fast offering. But my family's money is being taken from us to fund other things, not of our choosing. And the sad fact is, by the time I care for my own family's needs, there's just not a lot left over to assist others. It doesn't have to be this way. I fervently believe that if the government did less, individuals and private organizations would do more, and ultimately there would be more work done to help the poor, and that the work done would be more effective.


No, of course it's not a sin to help the poor. But if we are not careful about the way we collect the funds used, we may be guilty anyway.

Pieces of the Puzzle

As I was sitting down to study this afternoon I realized why it is that I'm never on top of the Divinity articles: I'm reading other articles! I'm trying to get pregnant again, and as part of that process in a blessing I was told to study Charity. So whenever I'm reading articles about the gospel they have to do with either Charity or my Sunday School lesson. (I feel much better about myself, having figured out that I'm studying something else, not "slacking," LOL.)

So to choose my Charity articles, I go to scriptures.byu.edu, and look up Conference Talks (and things) that have quoted the verse that I'm currently mulling over. Right now that verse is 1 Cor. 13:4. And one of the talks they link to is a talk Brother Eyring gave in 1998 called, "That We May Be One." I was pretty surprised to find a talk about unity, in my study of Chrity. And further surprised that he started out by talking about marriage. The more I think about this the more sense it makes to me though. Charity. You need it to have unity. President Hinckley said, "Let your first interest be in your home." Of course Charity and unity have to start in the marriage that creates my home!

The more that I study Charity the more that I think that the gospel is like one of those big puzzels. The ones with a lot of pieces that it takes you a while to put together. We used to do that a lot when I worked at a home for troubled kids. We often kept a table in the hallway, strategicly located for supervising several locations at once, where the girls could come and sit and work and chat with us. We'd start with the edges, of course, the easy stuff. But then each person that would come and work on it would have something that would interest them the most. Sky pieces, or bright flowers, or what have you. Whenever someone worked the puzzle they'd always gravitate toward some particular type of piece. You couldn't get anywhere at all if you tried to do it all, all at once. There was just too much to take in. The pieces themselves, in a good puzzle, would be beautiful and fun to look at. And you'd study your piece, take in the exact shade of blue, the particular cut of the edges, and then study the rest of the pile you were working with, along with the related areas of the puzzle, to see if you could find a match. But once you placed a piece in the puzzle, even though it was, individually, beautiful, it ceased to be an individual. The individual pieces, as they became a unified whole, almost stopped being individually important. You didn't notice the exact shade anymore, much less the shape. Though they didn't entirely loose their individual importance: if one was missing it left a jarring hole.

The gospel is like that. We study tithing, the Word of Wisdom, the Resurrection, the Plan of Happiness, temple work. And individually, they are wonderful and good. Individually any one of those principles enriches our life. But once you start to put them together into the whole picture, the Gospel of Jesus Christ, those individual pieces become much more, and the lines that separate one piece from another become a lot less distinct. I study Charity, and realize that unity requires Charity; that Charity creates unity. That those things start, emanate from, the home and bless the ward, the city, the nation, the family of Adam.

I'm excited. When you put together a puzzle, there comes a point where the picture starts to take shape. Although not all the pieces are in place yet, you start to be able to connect this blob of pieces with that bunch, and to the frame around the edge. All the sudden pieces that didn't make sense before start to fall into place. The pace at which you find places for the pieces starts to pick up. I think that I'm starting to get to that place in my understanding of the Gospel. The picture that I see emerging is excitig and wonderful. Truly, I do "Stand All Amazed!"

Here are some of my favorite quotes from Elder Eyring's talk:

"The requirement that we be one is not for this life alone. It is to be without end. The first marriage was performed by God in the garden when Adam and Eve were immortal. He placed in men and women from the beginning a desire to be joined together as man and wife forever to dwell in families in a perfect, righteous union. He placed in His children a desire to live at peace with all those around them."

"Where people have [the Holy Ghost] with them, we may expect harmony. The Spirit puts the testimony of truth in our hearts, which unifies those who share that testimony. The Spirit of God never generates contention (see 3 Ne. 11:29). It never generates the feelings of distinctions between people which lead to strife (see Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, 13th ed. [1963], 131). It leads to personal peace and a feeling of union with others. It unifies souls. A unified family, a unified Church, and a world at peace depend on unified souls."

"There are some commandments which, when broken, destroy unity. Some have to do with what we say and some with how we react to what others say. We must speak no ill of anyone. We must see the good in each other and speak well of each other whenever we can (see David O. McKay, in Conference Report, Oct. 1967, 4–11)."

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; ... is not easily provoked ...
-1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Thoughts

"Nothing will bring the Spirit of the Lord into your meetings, your homes, and your personal associations more quickly than showing kindness. “Charity … is kind” (1 Cor. 13:4). Kindness should be right at the top of everyone’s list of things to do. Write it down every day: “Be kind.” Kindness comes in many different packages. Be thoughtful to your neighbors. Be patient in a crowd. Be considerate of your children and your husband. Be honest with your sisters. Trust them and they will trust you. Go out and bring them into this grand circle of sisters we call Relief Society. As we increase our kindness, we add charity to our storehouse and we are strengthened."
-Elaine L. Jack, “Strengthened in Charity,” Ensign, Nov 1996, 91

"From [Rebekah] we learn that charity, though often quantified as the action, is actually the state of the heart that prompts us to love one another. She offered water. It was in the offering that charity was manifest."
-Elaine L. Jack, “Strengthened in Charity,” Ensign, Nov 1996, 91

If we are to have unity, there are commandments we must keep concerning how we feel. We must forgive and bear no malice toward those who offend us. The Savior set the example from the cross: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” ( Luke 23:34). We do not know the hearts of those who offend us. Nor do we know all the sources of our own anger and hurt. The Apostle Paul was telling us how to love in a world of imperfect people, including ourselves, when he said, “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil” (1 Cor. 13:4–5). And then he gave solemn warning against reacting to the fault of others and forgetting our own when he wrote, “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as I am known” (1 Cor. 13:12).
-Henry B. Eyring, “That We May Be One,” Ensign, May 1998, 66

"Whereas the natural man vents his anger, the men and women of Christ are “not easily provoked.” (1 Cor. 13:5.) Whereas the natural man is filled with greed, the men and women of Christ “seeketh not [their] own.” (1 Cor. 13:5.) Whereas the natural man seldom denies himself worldly pleasures, the men and women of Christ seek to bridle all their passions. (See Alma 38:12.)"
-Neal A. Maxwell, “Put Off the Natural Man, and Come Off Conqueror,” Ensign, Nov 1990, 14

"One of the last, subtle strongholds of selfishness is the natural feeling that we “own” ourselves. Of course we are free to choose and are personally accountable. Yes, we have individuality. But those who have chosen to “come unto Christ” soon realize that they do not “own” themselves. Instead, they belong to Him. We are to become consecrated along with our gifts, our appointed days, and our very selves. Hence, there is a stark difference between stubbornly “owning” oneself and submissively belonging to God. Clinging to the old self is not a mark of independence, but of indulgence!"
-Neal A. Maxwell, “Put Off the Natural Man, and Come Off Conqueror,” Ensign, Nov 1990, 14

All About Chickens

I have always lived in town. No chickens. So I'm curious about what the Lord's talking about when He says:

O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not! -Matt 23:37

This imagry is not obvious to me. So I'm looking at chickens.





After a while, I begin to wonder: How come all the babies have no hens to watch over them? Or, if there are a bunch of hens, nobody seems to be have any chicks.



Is it just the videos that I'm running across?







Here's one where you actually see a hen & chicks interacting:





Bit of Chicken lore:

Jewish tradition in the Talmud alternatively refers to learning "courtesy from the cock" (eruvin 100b). This reference may be attributed to the behavior of a cock when he finds something good to eat: he calls his flock to eat first. This call is distinct from regular clucking or crowing. While giving this call, he will repeatedly pick up a morsel of food and drop it again to attract the attention of the hens. A mother hen uses a similar call and action to teach her chicks to feed. -Wikipedia

Cool Word: Edify

I'm studying the scriptures this afternoon, and I come upon this verse:

"... Knoweldge puffeth up, but charity edifieth." -1 Corinthians 8:1

And as I'm pondering what this is saying I realize that I have no idea what edify means. I'd thought it meant to learn, but that doesn't seem to work at all in this context. Plus, the footnote on edifieth reads: "builds up, strengthens, establishes, repairs." None of that sounds like what I thought it means.

So I head to dictionary.com:

Edify:
*to build, construct, establish.
*to build or strengthen a person, uplift.
*to inform or enlighten intellectually or spiritually.
*to instruct or benefit.

I wasn't all wrong, but I was missing a whole bunch of layers of meaning that really add to my understanding of the scriptures. Edify. Like edifice. An edifice isn't just a building, it's a grand and beautiful place. Edify. It makes a difference in how I understand other verses too. For instance:

Appoint among yourselves a teacher, and let not all be spokesmen at once; but let one speak at a time and let all listen unto his sayings, that when all have spoken that all may be edified of all, and that every man may have an equal privilege. -Doctrine & Covenants 88:120.

I'd always sort of substituted the word "learn" for edify: understanding this to mean something along the lines of "all may learn from all." But edify, while it does mean learn, is more that that. So we're all supposed to be building each other and growing together, and our teaching and learning and comments in classes and such need to be mindful of that end.