Fed Calls Upon Counterfiters For Help

Very funny. In a scary sort of way.

“Treasury's printing presses are running 24/7 at 120% capacity,” said Kasha Cummin, Director of Treasury's Currency Production Office. “We’re still not able to meet the demand for more currency -- not with all this bailout activity and added Congressional spending. We can’t afford to wait for more presses to be built -- we need help from the pros who are already out there.” ...

The Fed and the Treasury are asking all skilled counterfeiters to join in the effort to create as much cash as possible in the next 12 months. Presidential pardons for past and selected future crimes will be issued to qualified participants, a Bush Administration spokesman said. Qualified counterfeiters are asked to bring their goods to a local Federal Reserve Bank, where they will be given 80 cents on the dollar as credit in tax-free electronic accounts that they can use almost anywhere -- Amazon, iTunes, Congress, etc.

“America appreciates the skilled help of those who have been augmenting the work of the Federal Reserve Bank for years. Now we ask you to step it up in this time of national emergency,” President Bush said.

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